Japan invaded Manchuria? WHAT
Hitler made history! Worse.
The tactics of the Nazis were amazing. For the start of the war.
They captured about 5 countries!
Oh, and they bombed Great Britan. After that a weird virus infected a gas masked kid and turned all who got infected with it into more gas mask wearing freaks and it was super complicated so the Doctor came in and cured them all and they were OK wait wat de fuq
Nazis invaded MUTHA RUZZIA.
Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor! You dumbasses why have you made my culture so horrible!
Argentina was the main supplier for meat to the allies.
The Germans attacked in The Battle Of Stalingrad. I have a small remnant of it. It's a Nazi badge, taken straight from the battle site! WOO! You want it? So-rry!
Mussolini had the craziest and most offensive death ever. His wife was shot, he was shot in the chest and shot again, and then he was hung on meathooks while civvies threw stuff at his body. Some even shot it. And then he was buried in an unmarked grave. Sad, really. Also, they didn't need to do that. That's how Hitler got scared.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
OK LETS DO THIS MAOOOOOOO ZEEEDONG! HOLY CRAP MAO JUST WENT IN!
This is the last time I talk about china. No offense, just this is the only important thing now!
Mao Zedong had a book of sayings. Everyone in China had to own it. SERIOUSLY.
China is better today than it was a long time ago.
China was communist, but the peoples revolted.
The Chinese Army joined in on the 1911 revolution!
China was quite an amazing place. It is even more amazing now.
DID CHINA INVENT FIREWORKS DID CHINA INVENT FIREWORKS TELL ME TELL ME NOW DAMMIT I NEED TO KNOW DAMMIT. Oh they did. I finally know. FIREWORKS ARE COMING TO MINECRAFT HELL YEA.
Chinese are better than you think! But they are worse than they think. So they are kinda in the middle. Like Japanese.
Communists and Nationalists are worst enemies! Obviously!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god. On October 1 1949 the People's Republic Of China started. On my dad's birthday. God. I mean wow.
Mao Zedong had a book of sayings. Everyone in China had to own it. SERIOUSLY.
China is better today than it was a long time ago.
China was communist, but the peoples revolted.
The Chinese Army joined in on the 1911 revolution!
China was quite an amazing place. It is even more amazing now.
DID CHINA INVENT FIREWORKS DID CHINA INVENT FIREWORKS TELL ME TELL ME NOW DAMMIT I NEED TO KNOW DAMMIT. Oh they did. I finally know. FIREWORKS ARE COMING TO MINECRAFT HELL YEA.
Chinese are better than you think! But they are worse than they think. So they are kinda in the middle. Like Japanese.
Communists and Nationalists are worst enemies! Obviously!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god. On October 1 1949 the People's Republic Of China started. On my dad's birthday. God. I mean wow.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
WWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
HERE WE GO FELLAS! WWI!
WAR! IT'S FANTASTIC!
WWI was not the war to end all wars. Although it was thought to be so. Very much.
WWI was a tragedy? But war is fantastic!
How it started? The Duke was assassinated, the Austrians asked the Serbs to keep the remains, Serbs refused. Austrians attacked. Russia allies with Serbs. Germans allies with Austrians. So, they all fought against each other. But the Germans allied with the Ottomans and declared war on France. Because of their horrible cartoons that do not have one little bit of English with them. The Germans decided to go through Belgium. But the Brits were allies with Belgium. So they declared war on Germany. And then the Japanese were allies with the British, so they declared war on Austria and Germany, because Japanese were hardcore!
According to British posters, Germans were monkeys.
Russians decided to hire people on the streets and say "MUDAK GYET OUT ONTO THYE BATTYELFYIELD! CHYORT, JYUST GYO!"
Machine guns are awesome. BRATATATATATA. And that's why the Brits lost 60,000 men.
Now everybody has Machine Guns!
Bombardment was horrible.
WW1 was a disaster for the RYUSSYIANS.
The US decided to kill all Germans. YAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Because of their president.
As with all wars, there were lots of deaths in WWI.
Machine Guns are good at taking down walls of soldiers charging right at you with their weapons and stuff. UNLOAD UNLOAD UNLOAD UNLOAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
I think that's how I would feel in a situation like that. Probably. You never know. I could be a coward and hide during the whole thing. But that would be too babyish.
Influenza wiped out almost all of the soldiers in WWI. So disease is a chemical weapon that can attack both sides. And it will. Vaccines need to be invented!
Don't get WWI and WWII confused, alright? Because they are completely different wars. Yeah.
I'm listening to the Portal 2 soundtrack as I write this. That kinda puts me in the mood for science! Check out my biology blog for more info guys, it would be really great of you to! Danke Freund.
WAR! IT'S FANTASTIC!
WWI was not the war to end all wars. Although it was thought to be so. Very much.
WWI was a tragedy? But war is fantastic!
How it started? The Duke was assassinated, the Austrians asked the Serbs to keep the remains, Serbs refused. Austrians attacked. Russia allies with Serbs. Germans allies with Austrians. So, they all fought against each other. But the Germans allied with the Ottomans and declared war on France. Because of their horrible cartoons that do not have one little bit of English with them. The Germans decided to go through Belgium. But the Brits were allies with Belgium. So they declared war on Germany. And then the Japanese were allies with the British, so they declared war on Austria and Germany, because Japanese were hardcore!
According to British posters, Germans were monkeys.
Russians decided to hire people on the streets and say "MUDAK GYET OUT ONTO THYE BATTYELFYIELD! CHYORT, JYUST GYO!"
Machine guns are awesome. BRATATATATATA. And that's why the Brits lost 60,000 men.
Now everybody has Machine Guns!
Bombardment was horrible.
WW1 was a disaster for the RYUSSYIANS.
The US decided to kill all Germans. YAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Because of their president.
As with all wars, there were lots of deaths in WWI.
Machine Guns are good at taking down walls of soldiers charging right at you with their weapons and stuff. UNLOAD UNLOAD UNLOAD UNLOAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
I think that's how I would feel in a situation like that. Probably. You never know. I could be a coward and hide during the whole thing. But that would be too babyish.
Influenza wiped out almost all of the soldiers in WWI. So disease is a chemical weapon that can attack both sides. And it will. Vaccines need to be invented!
Don't get WWI and WWII confused, alright? Because they are completely different wars. Yeah.
I'm listening to the Portal 2 soundtrack as I write this. That kinda puts me in the mood for science! Check out my biology blog for more info guys, it would be really great of you to! Danke Freund.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Fancy Imperialism, Like A Sir.
Chinese had plans for Monkey Fireworks! But they were never used, which saved a lot of monkey's lives.
Imperialism is great. Have you heard about the Imperial Army? Exactly.
The Maxim Machine Gun! It's amazing! It shoots stuff!
European Imperialism was weird, as they tried to conquer Africa. And a lot of Africans died.
Europeans tried to expand their empire by capturing Asia and Africa.
Europeans love empires. They also love to sell their best drug. It's weird, and it makes you feel weird. The Chinese love it! You've probably heard about it, Opium.
SCP, SCP, SCP, 173!
Derp.
Fezzes are used by Arabs. Fezzes were made because of Arabs. So thank the Arabs, as fezzes are cool now.
Empires have gone away? Why? Now we have countries! I don't want countries I want empires WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Countries are cool tho, I like countries too much to say I don't. Sorry country lovers!
China was a thriving manufacturing power. Haha!
The Qianlong Emperor is really weird. He says we won't buy anything from you European Scum! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But then the Europeans found a good way to trade. It all came in with a product. That product is called opium. It is one of the most addictive drugs in the world. And you know where it came from? An innocent flower that just didn't want to be turned into a drug! The Opium Poppy. It was the poppy where that very drug came from! And that's why opium is called opium. Or is that why the opium poppy called the opium poppy? I can't decide, turn on the chocobo music while I think about it.
Doo-do-do-do do-do-de do-do-do. Da da-da-da-dadada. Da da-da-da-dadada!
Doo-do-do-do do-do-de do-do-do. Da da-da-da-dadada. Da da-da-da-dadada!
OK, even after that, I'm still not sure. Turn on the REAL chocobo music while I think about it.
Imperialism affected china a lot.
Why are we barbarians to the Chinese? We are pretty good! We give you guys a lot of awesome stuff. We gave you Iphones!
Monkey Fireworks! Launch! Wait, those weren't invented? Damn it!
Chinese invented one thing! Robotic pandas with fireworks strapped to their backs! They were the mortar troops of the Chinese army! I saw them! In an alternate dimension. They were called Tillman.
MACHINE GUNS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SHOOT THOSE GUYS UP! We used machine guns against lots of people without those machine guns. Well, maybe they have a few, but we shoot them up anyway because we. are. awesome!
Indian Princes were imperial! They ride their elephants and squish all in their way! GO ELEPHANT SQUISH THOSE REDCOATS F**KAS! AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Imperialism gave us all the stuff shown above. Yes, even the robotic pandas.
China was about to be overtaken by Europe! But they decided to trade anyway! HAHA! And then they gave a lot of opium. A LOT OF OPIUM! And then the Chinese Citizens got addicted! The Brits could sell it a lot! And then the celestial empire, led by none other than Celestia (WAIT WAIT WHAT) decided to send them a stern letter saying "DRUGS ARE BAD! WE SHALL REMOVE OUR TRADES OF FRIENDSHIP TO YOUR EMPIRES!" but the Europeans didn't care much. So the celestial empire didn't send the letter. And the friendship trades kept on going. And then high Princess Celestia ordered all of the opium to be dumped into the sea, tea party style! But then the Europeans demanded payback! But the celestial empire thought that was too harsh. So the Europeans forced them to give them money! And that's how she was dethroned and needed to act in a little girls show for money! Next Question!
Imperialism is great. Have you heard about the Imperial Army? Exactly.
The Maxim Machine Gun! It's amazing! It shoots stuff!
European Imperialism was weird, as they tried to conquer Africa. And a lot of Africans died.
Europeans tried to expand their empire by capturing Asia and Africa.
Europeans love empires. They also love to sell their best drug. It's weird, and it makes you feel weird. The Chinese love it! You've probably heard about it, Opium.
SCP, SCP, SCP, 173!
Derp.
Fezzes are used by Arabs. Fezzes were made because of Arabs. So thank the Arabs, as fezzes are cool now.
Empires have gone away? Why? Now we have countries! I don't want countries I want empires WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Countries are cool tho, I like countries too much to say I don't. Sorry country lovers!
China was a thriving manufacturing power. Haha!
The Qianlong Emperor is really weird. He says we won't buy anything from you European Scum! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But then the Europeans found a good way to trade. It all came in with a product. That product is called opium. It is one of the most addictive drugs in the world. And you know where it came from? An innocent flower that just didn't want to be turned into a drug! The Opium Poppy. It was the poppy where that very drug came from! And that's why opium is called opium. Or is that why the opium poppy called the opium poppy? I can't decide, turn on the chocobo music while I think about it.
Doo-do-do-do do-do-de do-do-do. Da da-da-da-dadada. Da da-da-da-dadada!
Doo-do-do-do do-do-de do-do-do. Da da-da-da-dadada. Da da-da-da-dadada!
OK, even after that, I'm still not sure. Turn on the REAL chocobo music while I think about it.
Imperialism introduced a lot of trade. I mean a LOT.
Imperialism affected china a lot.
Why are we barbarians to the Chinese? We are pretty good! We give you guys a lot of awesome stuff. We gave you Iphones!
Monkey Fireworks! Launch! Wait, those weren't invented? Damn it!
Chinese invented one thing! Robotic pandas with fireworks strapped to their backs! They were the mortar troops of the Chinese army! I saw them! In an alternate dimension. They were called Tillman.
MACHINE GUNS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SHOOT THOSE GUYS UP! We used machine guns against lots of people without those machine guns. Well, maybe they have a few, but we shoot them up anyway because we. are. awesome!
Indian Princes were imperial! They ride their elephants and squish all in their way! GO ELEPHANT SQUISH THOSE REDCOATS F**KAS! AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Imperialism gave us all the stuff shown above. Yes, even the robotic pandas.
China was about to be overtaken by Europe! But they decided to trade anyway! HAHA! And then they gave a lot of opium. A LOT OF OPIUM! And then the Chinese Citizens got addicted! The Brits could sell it a lot! And then the celestial empire, led by none other than Celestia (WAIT WAIT WHAT) decided to send them a stern letter saying "DRUGS ARE BAD! WE SHALL REMOVE OUR TRADES OF FRIENDSHIP TO YOUR EMPIRES!" but the Europeans didn't care much. So the celestial empire didn't send the letter. And the friendship trades kept on going. And then high Princess Celestia ordered all of the opium to be dumped into the sea, tea party style! But then the Europeans demanded payback! But the celestial empire thought that was too harsh. So the Europeans forced them to give them money! And that's how she was dethroned and needed to act in a little girls show for money! Next Question!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
HOLY CRAP IS THAT A SAMURAI? YEAH IT IS YOU DUMBASS, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW DO YOU?! WELL READ, DAMN IT!
Woo! Why am I saying woo? Today we talk about nationalism. And Samurai! And Daimyo! Yay! Oh, and why I was saying woo is because I held my breath for 1 min and I had to catch my breath, "takes breath", "woo".
That last sentence, count how many words it has! It's the first coincidence in this wonderful blog!
Ieyasu was the emperor!
The Tokugawa era was amazing. It started the special forces of the Japanese army, the Samurai.
The Daimyo had full control over the crops! So they were better than samurai.
Japanese hated foreign European Christians. The hate was amazing. If any christian sets foot on Japan, they will be slaughtered! You think that's too much? I don't think so.
Japanese were awesome! They invented amazing rifles, including the Arisaka, the Type 99 and the Type 100.
WWII in a nutshell. Nazis were all like "Hail mein fuhrer", Russians were all like "Destroy the mudak fascists!" Americans were all like "Hamburgers, haircuts, mayo, hungry!" Japanese were all like "Hey can we bomb pearl harbor Kthx."
Many people find comfort in inaccuracy. Like me. I am one of the most inaccurate history teachers ever.
Nationalism can be bad! Like when it hit the Japanese emperor! Dat,, mein freund, is how WWII started for the Mayo-Eaters and the Japs.
Tojo! The emperor's name was Tojo! Japs, I'm bringing it back.
Japs: Don't bring it back!
Me: Well too bad.
There are 2 Matthew Perries in the world. 1 is an amazing comedian. 1 forcibly opened European trade in Japan.
Disgraced Samurai can commit suicide. But they do it in a fancy way! First, they wash themselves. Then, they eat their favorite food like "UM NUM NUM". Then, here comes the bloody part, they place a awesome knife on their table, covered up in a not bloody cloth. But don't worry, it'll get bloody soon! Next up, they stab themselves in a gut, and then, of course, in a fancy way, their buddy cuts off their head, ninja style. And then blood goes all over the place, ruining their awesome suit, and everything else! OH MY GOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE! BLOODY BLOODY BLOOD! ERMAGHERD! "Fancy Cough" That's how they kill themselves. It's called by a geeky name, Seppuku. GEEKY!
Oh and PEGI 18 Fun Fact! Do not read if under 18! Actually, I'm under 18, so go ahead: Tentacle Rape was a real myth in Ancient Japan. Not kidding bro. Truly not kidding.
Nationalism is weird. It's like we are just part of our country! Just a cell in our country team! I say no! Unacceptable! UNACCEPTABLE! GTFO NAZIS, GTFO ANY NATIONALIST, I WANT TO BE FREE! FREE LIKE A LITTLE BIRD! HECK, MAYBE I'D KILL MY COUNTRY IF IT WAS ALIVE! LIKE A CANCEROUS CELL TO THE NATIONALISTS, LIKE A REBEL! REVOLT REVOLT REVOLT!
That above there is not my way of view. Some crazy guy stole my computer and typed that in. After that he pulled a pistol up and shot a bird out of the sky. And then he ate it. And choked on it's bones. And then I called him F-ed up. Literally. Haha, you think that was really true? Loser. It was me that wrote that! Just wanted to raise some controversy so more people would read my blog!
Kekekekekekekeke....... And that's why every time a bunch of opium is put in a house it's called an opium bar! Wait, no relation. Sorry.
Nationalism and communism are not similar. AT ALL. Seriously. They might sound similar but they are not! In games, they both are enemies, but they are NOT related! I repeat, NOT related!
Pennsylvania is the hardest state to pronounce. Pencil-vae-nea.
Forty Two! The two in there is the 42nd word in this paragraph of history. But you don't know that.
Europeans are awesome. I am half Jap and half NZ, so I think Europeans and Japs are awesome, because "Hey Japanese, have some muskets."
Without that, this would not be possible (see bottom picture)
Gun Samurai are awesome. Those jimmyjacks are awesome! BTW, jimmyjack is my way of saying sharpshooter. Jimmy= Accurate Jack= Jackass
They are Jackasses because they annoy their enemies by taking them down from afar with guns! Bang, babang. Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang! ERMAGHERD WE'RE DYING! AAAH AAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH MY GOD!
USSR is not a country anymore. Nor is south Vietnam. And sorry, Rhodesia, you're out too. There are so many countries.
All my globes are out of date. They both don't have south Sudan.
Nationalism is amazing, as people want to become their own country right? South Sudan is now it's own country. South Vietnam tried to become a country. They failed because of those damn Victor Charlies. I hate Victor Charlies. Open fire on the Victor Charlies! Victor Charlies = Viet Cong. Read some books. Or even better, play some COD-BO
My brother is dividing his nationalism into two parts, so get ready for it. Please.
Matthew Perry is evil! I hate Matthew Perry. But the comedian is pretty good. But I hate the other Matthew Perry! Why did you introduce Christianity! We could go so well without Christianity! Us Japanese could take over the world! Trust me, with Japanese taking over the world, you'd be seeing a lot of awesome stuff around.
Good Day and Good Bye to you sir! See you next week!
That last sentence, count how many words it has! It's the first coincidence in this wonderful blog!
Ieyasu was the emperor!
The Tokugawa era was amazing. It started the special forces of the Japanese army, the Samurai.
The Daimyo had full control over the crops! So they were better than samurai.
Japanese hated foreign European Christians. The hate was amazing. If any christian sets foot on Japan, they will be slaughtered! You think that's too much? I don't think so.
Japanese were awesome! They invented amazing rifles, including the Arisaka, the Type 99 and the Type 100.
WWII in a nutshell. Nazis were all like "Hail mein fuhrer", Russians were all like "Destroy the mudak fascists!" Americans were all like "Hamburgers, haircuts, mayo, hungry!" Japanese were all like "Hey can we bomb pearl harbor Kthx."
Many people find comfort in inaccuracy. Like me. I am one of the most inaccurate history teachers ever.
Nationalism can be bad! Like when it hit the Japanese emperor! Dat,, mein freund, is how WWII started for the Mayo-Eaters and the Japs.
Tojo! The emperor's name was Tojo! Japs, I'm bringing it back.
Japs: Don't bring it back!
Me: Well too bad.
There are 2 Matthew Perries in the world. 1 is an amazing comedian. 1 forcibly opened European trade in Japan.
Disgraced Samurai can commit suicide. But they do it in a fancy way! First, they wash themselves. Then, they eat their favorite food like "UM NUM NUM". Then, here comes the bloody part, they place a awesome knife on their table, covered up in a not bloody cloth. But don't worry, it'll get bloody soon! Next up, they stab themselves in a gut, and then, of course, in a fancy way, their buddy cuts off their head, ninja style. And then blood goes all over the place, ruining their awesome suit, and everything else! OH MY GOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE! BLOODY BLOODY BLOOD! ERMAGHERD! "Fancy Cough" That's how they kill themselves. It's called by a geeky name, Seppuku. GEEKY!
Oh and PEGI 18 Fun Fact! Do not read if under 18! Actually, I'm under 18, so go ahead: Tentacle Rape was a real myth in Ancient Japan. Not kidding bro. Truly not kidding.
Nationalism is weird. It's like we are just part of our country! Just a cell in our country team! I say no! Unacceptable! UNACCEPTABLE! GTFO NAZIS, GTFO ANY NATIONALIST, I WANT TO BE FREE! FREE LIKE A LITTLE BIRD! HECK, MAYBE I'D KILL MY COUNTRY IF IT WAS ALIVE! LIKE A CANCEROUS CELL TO THE NATIONALISTS, LIKE A REBEL! REVOLT REVOLT REVOLT!
That above there is not my way of view. Some crazy guy stole my computer and typed that in. After that he pulled a pistol up and shot a bird out of the sky. And then he ate it. And choked on it's bones. And then I called him F-ed up. Literally. Haha, you think that was really true? Loser. It was me that wrote that! Just wanted to raise some controversy so more people would read my blog!
Kekekekekekekeke....... And that's why every time a bunch of opium is put in a house it's called an opium bar! Wait, no relation. Sorry.
Nationalism and communism are not similar. AT ALL. Seriously. They might sound similar but they are not! In games, they both are enemies, but they are NOT related! I repeat, NOT related!
Pennsylvania is the hardest state to pronounce. Pencil-vae-nea.
Forty Two! The two in there is the 42nd word in this paragraph of history. But you don't know that.
Europeans are awesome. I am half Jap and half NZ, so I think Europeans and Japs are awesome, because "Hey Japanese, have some muskets."
Without that, this would not be possible (see bottom picture)
Gun Samurai are awesome. Those jimmyjacks are awesome! BTW, jimmyjack is my way of saying sharpshooter. Jimmy= Accurate Jack= Jackass
They are Jackasses because they annoy their enemies by taking them down from afar with guns! Bang, babang. Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang! ERMAGHERD WE'RE DYING! AAAH AAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH MY GOD!
USSR is not a country anymore. Nor is south Vietnam. And sorry, Rhodesia, you're out too. There are so many countries.
All my globes are out of date. They both don't have south Sudan.
Nationalism is amazing, as people want to become their own country right? South Sudan is now it's own country. South Vietnam tried to become a country. They failed because of those damn Victor Charlies. I hate Victor Charlies. Open fire on the Victor Charlies! Victor Charlies = Viet Cong. Read some books. Or even better, play some COD-BO
My brother is dividing his nationalism into two parts, so get ready for it. Please.
Matthew Perry is evil! I hate Matthew Perry. But the comedian is pretty good. But I hate the other Matthew Perry! Why did you introduce Christianity! We could go so well without Christianity! Us Japanese could take over the world! Trust me, with Japanese taking over the world, you'd be seeing a lot of awesome stuff around.
Good Day and Good Bye to you sir! See you next week!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
CAPITALISM! HOLY MARY MOTHER OF SOME IDIOTIC BULLCRAP THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS!
Capitalism just turns men into wolves! Nah.
Capitalism is about efficiency! But capitalism is a greatly argued thing, so I can't take all sides. So if you are going to make some hurtful comments, just get out man. Get the (AWESOME CENSOR) out.
You lose your life is you get attacked by pirates. But if you have more ships, then you have less chance of being attacked, because pirates are scared of tough people!
Capitalism and the Industrial Revolution are not related, they helped each other happen.
Make more crops! Especially clovers, they make nitrogen!
Obesity has become a bigger killer than starvation! OH NOES! Don't overeat men! And you, women.
Most Tenant farmers lost their jobs during capitalism. But David Tennant just decided to steal a time-travelling TARDIS and travelled the heck outta there.
Capitalism isn't without it's problems. But communism has more problems. Nazism, I just don't know.
Capitalism is an economic system.
Capitalism is good for money!
Mercantile Capitalists lose everything if they get invaded by pirates. Money is their life!
Capitalism is kinda miserable.
Once farmers invested in better products, they could make more crops.
We have too much stuff now, before we had too little.
When factories started, people started to go to them and work, work, WORK!
Manufactured goods are more abundant than natural goods!
Communism may seem good, but it's bad. HORRIBLE! It never works. But if we could actually do something like this, then maybe we could live in peace! What do you like better, capitalism or communism. Tell me below in the comments!
Karl Marx has a really big beard!
Mau Zedong did not have a beard. HE WAS INFERIOR! Karl Marx is boss. His beard is boss.
We need competition! So I think we need some more capitalism, dontcha think?
0_0
Capitalism is wonderful. It's like, why write blogs if I can buy a good blog-writer bot. But I don't do that. Because they don't exist. But imagine if blog-writing bots do exist.
Then I would buy a blog-writing bot that makes my blogs! Even if it costs a lot, It would still save me good energy. That's exactly what capitalism is. I would unemploy myself as blog writer and get my blog-writing bot to do the job!
Child labor is weird. There is less child labor now, the only labor children do is paper-throwing.
Oh, and I can invest in a blog-reading machine. So now you will be unemployed, blog reader! Oh wait, they aren't invented yet. You live another day, reader!
We need more cheaper food! But importing changes that. They're all like "Hey we gave you food from our country so you gotta pay more haha."
I love food!
Merchantile Capitalism was a global phenomenon! It was awesome! We buy stuff, and sell it at a higher price! Oh and BTW, I bought a T.A.R.D.I.S today! So, random reader, that's why your girlfriend broke up with you. And I went back in time to write this. I actually live in the future. What year? You mean what month. December 21. I ran away before that. So, fellow reader, pack your things, the world ends in December 21.
Grain had low prices in capitalism.
Dutch had chronic problems, not sure why. That's why they need clovers. BTW, leprechauns say "Whoa, I just got this pot o' gold! I don't know where to put it. Blimey, maybe I'd put it under this beacon of many colors, I say!"
Today is the Islamic New Year! Horray! Well, I just chose a random holiday. Guess I got lucky.
Oh and I forgot to tell you that I got away from that spirit. Just played dead. Oh crap there he i
WE.BROKE.HIM.AGAIN
WE.BROKE.U.AGAIN
Capitalism is about efficiency! But capitalism is a greatly argued thing, so I can't take all sides. So if you are going to make some hurtful comments, just get out man. Get the (AWESOME CENSOR) out.
You lose your life is you get attacked by pirates. But if you have more ships, then you have less chance of being attacked, because pirates are scared of tough people!
Capitalism and the Industrial Revolution are not related, they helped each other happen.
Make more crops! Especially clovers, they make nitrogen!
Obesity has become a bigger killer than starvation! OH NOES! Don't overeat men! And you, women.
Most Tenant farmers lost their jobs during capitalism. But David Tennant just decided to steal a time-travelling TARDIS and travelled the heck outta there.
Capitalism isn't without it's problems. But communism has more problems. Nazism, I just don't know.
Capitalism is an economic system.
Capitalism is good for money!
Mercantile Capitalists lose everything if they get invaded by pirates. Money is their life!
Capitalism is kinda miserable.
Once farmers invested in better products, they could make more crops.
We have too much stuff now, before we had too little.
When factories started, people started to go to them and work, work, WORK!
Manufactured goods are more abundant than natural goods!
Communism may seem good, but it's bad. HORRIBLE! It never works. But if we could actually do something like this, then maybe we could live in peace! What do you like better, capitalism or communism. Tell me below in the comments!
Karl Marx has a really big beard!
Mau Zedong did not have a beard. HE WAS INFERIOR! Karl Marx is boss. His beard is boss.
We need competition! So I think we need some more capitalism, dontcha think?
0_0
Capitalism is wonderful. It's like, why write blogs if I can buy a good blog-writer bot. But I don't do that. Because they don't exist. But imagine if blog-writing bots do exist.
Then I would buy a blog-writing bot that makes my blogs! Even if it costs a lot, It would still save me good energy. That's exactly what capitalism is. I would unemploy myself as blog writer and get my blog-writing bot to do the job!
Child labor is weird. There is less child labor now, the only labor children do is paper-throwing.
Oh, and I can invest in a blog-reading machine. So now you will be unemployed, blog reader! Oh wait, they aren't invented yet. You live another day, reader!
We need more cheaper food! But importing changes that. They're all like "Hey we gave you food from our country so you gotta pay more haha."
I love food!
Merchantile Capitalism was a global phenomenon! It was awesome! We buy stuff, and sell it at a higher price! Oh and BTW, I bought a T.A.R.D.I.S today! So, random reader, that's why your girlfriend broke up with you. And I went back in time to write this. I actually live in the future. What year? You mean what month. December 21. I ran away before that. So, fellow reader, pack your things, the world ends in December 21.
Grain had low prices in capitalism.
Dutch had chronic problems, not sure why. That's why they need clovers. BTW, leprechauns say "Whoa, I just got this pot o' gold! I don't know where to put it. Blimey, maybe I'd put it under this beacon of many colors, I say!"
Today is the Islamic New Year! Horray! Well, I just chose a random holiday. Guess I got lucky.
Oh and I forgot to tell you that I got away from that spirit. Just played dead. Oh crap there he i
WE.BROKE.HIM.AGAIN
WE.BROKE.U.AGAIN
Thursday, November 1, 2012
HOLY MOTHER OF BULLCRAP INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION
The industrial revolution was the most revolutionary revolution of it's day! It didn't revolt against anything! It just gave us machines.
You have blueberries in february? Industrial Revolution. You live in someplace else than a farm? Indusrtial Revolution. You drive a Car? Industrial revolution. Pills Here? Industrial Revolution. Now less than 1% of people in America use farms. Although my Aunt does, but hey! She isn't american!
The Industrial Revolution is the reason I'm writing this blog! And this very blog post! And it is the only reason I am sitting in this very swivel chair! Yeah I have a swivel chair! Jealous?
Electricity was made by the industrial revolution.
Industrial Revolution= Mass Production. Therefore, our computer screens are mass produced. Our CPUs are mass produced. AND EVERY OTHER DAMN THING THAT I AM USING RIGHT NOW IS MASS PRODUCED.
Revolutions aren't really that revolutionary. Except this one.
Read the Blog About Only Me to read about games! Also caused by the Industrial Revolution.
Industrial Revolution is what created the basis of STEAMPUNK! Ah, got your attention. Haha.
Everyone loves Steam! Everyone loves Computers! Everyone loves houses! Everyone loves not farming! Thank Industrial Revolution!
Like your tiny heads? Thank INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION!
If you are an old man and hate machines, then would you rather live in a shack, without any sense of living in luxury? YOU SHOULD THANK THE BLOODY INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION, YOU OLD FOOL!
Industrial revolution gave us more choices of travel from foot, horseback or boat! IT GAVE US CARS, AND AIRPLANES, AND LUXURY CRUISERS!
Your Tee is Mass-Produced. So if there was no Industrial Revolution, you would probably be naked right now.
Industrial revolution gave you almost everything in your BLOODAY HOUSE!
If you ever get an Xbox for Christmas, thank your parents, and then thank the INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION even more, because they did most of the work.
I love the industrial revolution.
The industrial revolution made it possible to read my blog. Which is, of course, the best blog on blogger. So you're lucky you have the industrial revolution.
Guns were made better in the Industrial Revolution.
Every waking and sleeping moment of your life is caused by the Industrial Revolution.
The spinning jenny was invented when the industrial revolution came along.
Coal is good for steam engines, which is why you went to the coal farms when you were 7. What? Did you say that it doesn't happen anymore? Damn it.
The Industrial revolution was better in Europe. Which means that Europe is superior. And New Zealand was founded by europe.
Doctor Who, my favorite show, was only able to be made because of the Industrial Revolution. So thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. I love Doctor Who. Yes, Whovians. I heard you say "Finally"
Coal is really good for powering steam engines because it burns for a long time.
All other revolutions have new flags and stuff, yeah, not important.
Your love interest friendzones you, industrial revolution. Wait, what?
Don't blame the industrial revolution. Girlfriends have friendzones way before the start of human civilization.
Sulfuric Acid was used in bleaching clothes! So that's why bleach smells so bad. I spilt it all over a guy once, and he stank for a week. Also, his clothes went pink. He was wearing a pink patch of clothes, haha.
Lead is needed for electricity, so lead mines were good.
Europe has a small population. So that's probably why you big populated american primitive inferiors took all your tech from us, good old Europe.
China was primed for an industrial revolution about the same time as Europe. But china did it quicker, with their beautiful newness. Therefore, china is probably superior. Because they are quick learners.
NZ is probably the place with the most farms. Come on to our farm!
Have you seen how many times I've written about revolutions? Must be 4 weeks of revolutions! If you know a good name for this, tell me in the comments!
Thomas Newcomen made the best steam engine. James Watt made it better. How is that possible? I dunno.
BTW, british FTW! We invented the industrial revolution! I may be New Zealander, but I have ancestors in Britan! And I also have ancestors in (Wait For It) Germany. So technically, I am half european!
I also am half Japanese. So I have a message to all you other Japanese and Koreans. Please, you can own anything! Just share and you guys would be better! But China, yes China, was close to the Industrial Revolution. Oh so close. Closer than the others.
I'm proud of Europe. Are you? Tell me in the comments.
Just to say one final thing, all of us have tech now! You know why? Because of Europe. Trololololol!
You have blueberries in february? Industrial Revolution. You live in someplace else than a farm? Indusrtial Revolution. You drive a Car? Industrial revolution. Pills Here? Industrial Revolution. Now less than 1% of people in America use farms. Although my Aunt does, but hey! She isn't american!
The Industrial Revolution is the reason I'm writing this blog! And this very blog post! And it is the only reason I am sitting in this very swivel chair! Yeah I have a swivel chair! Jealous?
Electricity was made by the industrial revolution.
Industrial Revolution= Mass Production. Therefore, our computer screens are mass produced. Our CPUs are mass produced. AND EVERY OTHER DAMN THING THAT I AM USING RIGHT NOW IS MASS PRODUCED.
Revolutions aren't really that revolutionary. Except this one.
Read the Blog About Only Me to read about games! Also caused by the Industrial Revolution.
Industrial Revolution is what created the basis of STEAMPUNK! Ah, got your attention. Haha.
Everyone loves Steam! Everyone loves Computers! Everyone loves houses! Everyone loves not farming! Thank Industrial Revolution!
Like your tiny heads? Thank INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION!
If you are an old man and hate machines, then would you rather live in a shack, without any sense of living in luxury? YOU SHOULD THANK THE BLOODY INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION, YOU OLD FOOL!
Industrial revolution gave us more choices of travel from foot, horseback or boat! IT GAVE US CARS, AND AIRPLANES, AND LUXURY CRUISERS!
Your Tee is Mass-Produced. So if there was no Industrial Revolution, you would probably be naked right now.
Industrial revolution gave you almost everything in your BLOODAY HOUSE!
If you ever get an Xbox for Christmas, thank your parents, and then thank the INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION even more, because they did most of the work.
I love the industrial revolution.
The industrial revolution made it possible to read my blog. Which is, of course, the best blog on blogger. So you're lucky you have the industrial revolution.
Guns were made better in the Industrial Revolution.
Every waking and sleeping moment of your life is caused by the Industrial Revolution.
The spinning jenny was invented when the industrial revolution came along.
Coal is good for steam engines, which is why you went to the coal farms when you were 7. What? Did you say that it doesn't happen anymore? Damn it.
The Industrial revolution was better in Europe. Which means that Europe is superior. And New Zealand was founded by europe.
Doctor Who, my favorite show, was only able to be made because of the Industrial Revolution. So thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. I love Doctor Who. Yes, Whovians. I heard you say "Finally"
Coal is really good for powering steam engines because it burns for a long time.
All other revolutions have new flags and stuff, yeah, not important.
Your love interest friendzones you, industrial revolution. Wait, what?
Don't blame the industrial revolution. Girlfriends have friendzones way before the start of human civilization.
Sulfuric Acid was used in bleaching clothes! So that's why bleach smells so bad. I spilt it all over a guy once, and he stank for a week. Also, his clothes went pink. He was wearing a pink patch of clothes, haha.
Lead is needed for electricity, so lead mines were good.
Europe has a small population. So that's probably why you big populated american primitive inferiors took all your tech from us, good old Europe.
China was primed for an industrial revolution about the same time as Europe. But china did it quicker, with their beautiful newness. Therefore, china is probably superior. Because they are quick learners.
NZ is probably the place with the most farms. Come on to our farm!
Have you seen how many times I've written about revolutions? Must be 4 weeks of revolutions! If you know a good name for this, tell me in the comments!
Thomas Newcomen made the best steam engine. James Watt made it better. How is that possible? I dunno.
BTW, british FTW! We invented the industrial revolution! I may be New Zealander, but I have ancestors in Britan! And I also have ancestors in (Wait For It) Germany. So technically, I am half european!
I also am half Japanese. So I have a message to all you other Japanese and Koreans. Please, you can own anything! Just share and you guys would be better! But China, yes China, was close to the Industrial Revolution. Oh so close. Closer than the others.
I'm proud of Europe. Are you? Tell me in the comments.
Just to say one final thing, all of us have tech now! You know why? Because of Europe. Trololololol!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Latin Hurrvurrluurtians.
These new revolutions took place in mexico, they had nice hats, but they all looked similar, which meant they had a lot of friendly fire, which meant that the revolutions did not work out very well, and also, napoleon HAD to intervene? Seriously? Stupid Napoleon.
Nachos are delicious. Well, I'm not sure if they were in the Latin Revolutions, but that might be the case.
The first spanish king in mexico was french. Why french, why do you have to do these stupid yet seemingly awesome things?!
The french hate the americans, even after the americans saved their sorry asses from the damned nazis 2 times! TWO TIMES!
Well, deal with it french, the americans hate you right back. Just wait until WW3!
But we're talking about the spanish now. Heh. Ok. Spanish spread to a lot of places, including the place which I live in right now, the Philippines!
French HAD to go to Latin America, didn't they! They HAD to intervene. I am not in a good mood. The french always did things that intervene with Latin America. Like making a french guy king of the spaniards. Yeah, good job France.
The spaniards had a lot of friendly fire, and they were led by a stupid damn psycho priest. Who loved to revolt. And after that revolution failed, another stupid damn psycho priest came up, which was more successful than the other stupid damn psycho priest. The priests were pretty ticked off because of the french. So they said "Why don't we revolt?" and that idea changed history once again. Yeah, good job stupid damn psycho priests from the past.
The spaniards looked similar to their enemies, so they shot each other a lot. Yeah, good job ancient revolting Mexicans.
I wrote this extremely pessimistic blog post. Yeah, good job me.
Latin America is big and very diverse. Stupid napoleon also makes things complicated!
Brazil is gigantic, and a lot of spaniards lived there, which is why in Brazil, they almost always speak spanish. Whites born in the americas were called creoles.
Latin america has one of my favorite things! Nachos!
Everyone loves Brazil.
King João was really creepy, he has a soul-piercing stare. Soul-Piercing stare. It will pierce your soul. Burn into it and eat it up. He's also pretty ugly.
The Brazilian Revolution did not have much bloodshed.
Creoles tried to kill Peninsularies. But they acted basically identical, which meant that the peasants attacked the Creoles instead of the Peninsularies. And that meant this: "Ow stop shooting me" "But you're the enemy!" "I'M A CREOLE YOU IDIOT!" "Damn it! Wrong guy."
Latin america is now called South America. And it very spanish. Spaniards, unite!
What will the Creoles do? Do? Doo Doo. They're going to shoot each other by accident!
Napoleon has to stop messing with us. Stop messing with history, seriously Nap Nap.
Husbands had complete control over their wives. Not anymore. In fact, one of my friends has a mother who has complete control over his dad.
Women were not allowed to go to college. That's why there are so many males who are famous and smart. Sorry ladies, but you guys got us back with feminism. Feminism, oh feminism, please stop being so serious about everything. I want to call us mankind! Can't you just let that pass? We let you vote! You are now just like us! But you still want more. So now we let you have more. Now will you leave us alone?
Napoleon ruins everything. Napoleon, frickin' Napoleon, you're everywhere. He's behind me isn't he. HOLY CRAP!
CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA. That's how I see Brazil, dancing in Rio! CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA.
I'd like you to say goodbye! Goodbye! For another 3 weeks! I'm going to New Zealand! Loved ya and bye! Bye! Bye! More things are coming soon!
Nachos are delicious. Well, I'm not sure if they were in the Latin Revolutions, but that might be the case.
The first spanish king in mexico was french. Why french, why do you have to do these stupid yet seemingly awesome things?!
The french hate the americans, even after the americans saved their sorry asses from the damned nazis 2 times! TWO TIMES!
Well, deal with it french, the americans hate you right back. Just wait until WW3!
But we're talking about the spanish now. Heh. Ok. Spanish spread to a lot of places, including the place which I live in right now, the Philippines!
French HAD to go to Latin America, didn't they! They HAD to intervene. I am not in a good mood. The french always did things that intervene with Latin America. Like making a french guy king of the spaniards. Yeah, good job France.
The spaniards had a lot of friendly fire, and they were led by a stupid damn psycho priest. Who loved to revolt. And after that revolution failed, another stupid damn psycho priest came up, which was more successful than the other stupid damn psycho priest. The priests were pretty ticked off because of the french. So they said "Why don't we revolt?" and that idea changed history once again. Yeah, good job stupid damn psycho priests from the past.
The spaniards looked similar to their enemies, so they shot each other a lot. Yeah, good job ancient revolting Mexicans.
I wrote this extremely pessimistic blog post. Yeah, good job me.
Latin America is big and very diverse. Stupid napoleon also makes things complicated!
Brazil is gigantic, and a lot of spaniards lived there, which is why in Brazil, they almost always speak spanish. Whites born in the americas were called creoles.
Latin america has one of my favorite things! Nachos!
Everyone loves Brazil.
King João was really creepy, he has a soul-piercing stare. Soul-Piercing stare. It will pierce your soul. Burn into it and eat it up. He's also pretty ugly.
The Brazilian Revolution did not have much bloodshed.
Creoles tried to kill Peninsularies. But they acted basically identical, which meant that the peasants attacked the Creoles instead of the Peninsularies. And that meant this: "Ow stop shooting me" "But you're the enemy!" "I'M A CREOLE YOU IDIOT!" "Damn it! Wrong guy."
Latin america is now called South America. And it very spanish. Spaniards, unite!
What will the Creoles do? Do? Doo Doo. They're going to shoot each other by accident!
Napoleon has to stop messing with us. Stop messing with history, seriously Nap Nap.
Husbands had complete control over their wives. Not anymore. In fact, one of my friends has a mother who has complete control over his dad.
Women were not allowed to go to college. That's why there are so many males who are famous and smart. Sorry ladies, but you guys got us back with feminism. Feminism, oh feminism, please stop being so serious about everything. I want to call us mankind! Can't you just let that pass? We let you vote! You are now just like us! But you still want more. So now we let you have more. Now will you leave us alone?
Napoleon ruins everything. Napoleon, frickin' Napoleon, you're everywhere. He's behind me isn't he. HOLY CRAP!
CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA. That's how I see Brazil, dancing in Rio! CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA.
I'd like you to say goodbye! Goodbye! For another 3 weeks! I'm going to New Zealand! Loved ya and bye! Bye! Bye! More things are coming soon!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Haitan Revolutions
There is lots of sugar in haiti, which means lots of sugar was farmed.
Most slaves in Haiti are from africa, which does not mean that all slaves are african.
Wealthy people own slaves in haiti, which was a problem.
Slavery is very sad, so no slaves are happy.
Slaves did revolt.
Slaves were kinda happy about the revolution.
Slaves are angry, very angry. So angry that they chopped of heads of evil slave owners and showed them with pride.
Toussaint Louverture was a very good general, which means the slaves had a good general.
Louverture was captured and put in jail, where he died.
Usually, viruses kill lots of people. That's what happened to the french. So they died. FOREVAR!
The general of the french (not napoleon) was killed by sickness. Damn.
There is lots of death in wars, which means lots of famous people died. So would you like to be in a war? No.
Haiti was very valuable to the europeans. Because of the awesome sugar and coffee. That's what it was farmed for.
Most of the field workers at the sugar plantations were women, which is even MORE of a problem.
Freed slaves had slaves. Problem?
Slaves disliked being slaves, no surprise there.
Sugar is yummy, but that does not mean that you can go to Haiti and force people to get your sugar! I mean, seriously?
Slaves did not revolt for a long time. But then they did revolt. MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Attack! But then the french got killed.
GIANT SQUID OF ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disease is pretty much in the middle of history, it's a GIANT SQUID OF ANGER!
Disease is interfering with us. Aww my gawd. By the way, giant squid of anger is a confirmed saying for U-toob troll.
Disease just does not care. Really. By the way, you don't want to be enslaved.
Right now, I am smoking a fake cigarette made out of paper. What? Of course I won't smoke tobacco. I am now talking about tobacco because slaves farmed it. Farming tobacco plants is hard. That's why they force slaves to do it! Not anymore though, but still, please don't smoke! Thank you! Except you, chain smoker. And you, Mr Addicted.
There were lots of changes in france, which changed things in Haiti too! Although, not for long.
France owned haiti for a long time. But then the slaves revolted! REVOLT MEN!
By the way, the slave revolution started like this "Hey, sir? Yeah? Screw all of you."
Revolutions are great! Especially when it does something that changes people today!
Free the slaves! FREE THEM! Well now they are free! Woohoo!
Microbes are super self involved. Poor us. Microbes kill us! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
Smoked beef called bukan was common in Haiti. It was great! But they ran out of cattle, so they could not sell it anymore. So after that, you know what happened. They started robbing spanish galleons. And they are europeans. Them are mexicans.
24,000 people in haiti were freed people of color. Aka african americans. What do you want me to call you guys? Tell me in the comments.
Slave life should have been improved. But it was a LOT better to revolt. No really guys, that was a smart move.
Poor working conditions, lots of death and disease plus a hint of pain. That's all slavery was for the poor slaves. And slavery still happens today! So stop slavery today! This is a message to everyone in africa! Of course, those who do not have a computer will not get the message. Those people are pretty much the ones who are enslaved! So STOP SLAVERY TODAY!
French love to steal stuff from spanish ships. Because they were loaded with awesome silver. Beautiful, beautiful silver. Silver is very expensive, which means you can get lots of money through it! That's why the french stole from them.
The french usually had 200 slaves per plantation.
There were a lot of free people of color in Haiti, but they usually had slaves!
The slaves hated being slaves because of the dangers of it! So slavery is very bad.
Slavery is bad.
Slave warriors look pretty cool, with all their machetes and guns.
Slaves are very good with guns, so that's why they shot up those frenchies.
The slave revolution in Haiti was pretty successful.
French sent a lot of troops to Haiti to control the revolution! But they all died because of the Haitian's best friend, Yellow Fever.
Louverture was very good at controlling his warriors.
Louverture allied with the spanish, and then the french!
The french loved to attack spanish. So that's why the french hate the spanish. (Probably.) Oh wait, they forgot, and number 2, they do not hate each other. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.
The amount of slaves in Haiti was HUGE! Bigger than the amount of french there. That's a lot.
Poor whites were sad that they didn't have good amounts of power.
Slavery SUCKS! And don't say it in the wrong way. If you say slaves suck, I would rip your arm off and make you bite your tongue, right on the spot.
Revolutions comes from the word revolt.
Revolting might become a whole dang revolution. Like Lybia, Egypt and Syria,
The French were at war with the Spanish and the Brits for the island of Haiti.
Jaques Dessalines was a lieutenant in Toussiant Louverture's army.
Toussiant gave himself his name, his old name was more african.
Reintroducing slavery is not funny. So the Slaves decided to revolt.
End of post! See ya next week guys!
Most slaves in Haiti are from africa, which does not mean that all slaves are african.
Wealthy people own slaves in haiti, which was a problem.
Slavery is very sad, so no slaves are happy.
Slaves did revolt.
Slaves were kinda happy about the revolution.
Slaves are angry, very angry. So angry that they chopped of heads of evil slave owners and showed them with pride.
Toussaint Louverture was a very good general, which means the slaves had a good general.
Louverture was captured and put in jail, where he died.
Usually, viruses kill lots of people. That's what happened to the french. So they died. FOREVAR!
The general of the french (not napoleon) was killed by sickness. Damn.
There is lots of death in wars, which means lots of famous people died. So would you like to be in a war? No.
Haiti was very valuable to the europeans. Because of the awesome sugar and coffee. That's what it was farmed for.
Most of the field workers at the sugar plantations were women, which is even MORE of a problem.
Freed slaves had slaves. Problem?
Slaves disliked being slaves, no surprise there.
Sugar is yummy, but that does not mean that you can go to Haiti and force people to get your sugar! I mean, seriously?
Slaves did not revolt for a long time. But then they did revolt. MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Attack! But then the french got killed.
GIANT SQUID OF ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disease is pretty much in the middle of history, it's a GIANT SQUID OF ANGER!
Disease is interfering with us. Aww my gawd. By the way, giant squid of anger is a confirmed saying for U-toob troll.
Disease just does not care. Really. By the way, you don't want to be enslaved.
Right now, I am smoking a fake cigarette made out of paper. What? Of course I won't smoke tobacco. I am now talking about tobacco because slaves farmed it. Farming tobacco plants is hard. That's why they force slaves to do it! Not anymore though, but still, please don't smoke! Thank you! Except you, chain smoker. And you, Mr Addicted.
There were lots of changes in france, which changed things in Haiti too! Although, not for long.
France owned haiti for a long time. But then the slaves revolted! REVOLT MEN!
By the way, the slave revolution started like this "Hey, sir? Yeah? Screw all of you."
Revolutions are great! Especially when it does something that changes people today!
Free the slaves! FREE THEM! Well now they are free! Woohoo!
Microbes are super self involved. Poor us. Microbes kill us! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
Smoked beef called bukan was common in Haiti. It was great! But they ran out of cattle, so they could not sell it anymore. So after that, you know what happened. They started robbing spanish galleons. And they are europeans. Them are mexicans.
24,000 people in haiti were freed people of color. Aka african americans. What do you want me to call you guys? Tell me in the comments.
Slave life should have been improved. But it was a LOT better to revolt. No really guys, that was a smart move.
Poor working conditions, lots of death and disease plus a hint of pain. That's all slavery was for the poor slaves. And slavery still happens today! So stop slavery today! This is a message to everyone in africa! Of course, those who do not have a computer will not get the message. Those people are pretty much the ones who are enslaved! So STOP SLAVERY TODAY!
French love to steal stuff from spanish ships. Because they were loaded with awesome silver. Beautiful, beautiful silver. Silver is very expensive, which means you can get lots of money through it! That's why the french stole from them.
The french usually had 200 slaves per plantation.
There were a lot of free people of color in Haiti, but they usually had slaves!
The slaves hated being slaves because of the dangers of it! So slavery is very bad.
Slavery is bad.
Slave warriors look pretty cool, with all their machetes and guns.
Slaves are very good with guns, so that's why they shot up those frenchies.
The slave revolution in Haiti was pretty successful.
French sent a lot of troops to Haiti to control the revolution! But they all died because of the Haitian's best friend, Yellow Fever.
Louverture was very good at controlling his warriors.
Louverture allied with the spanish, and then the french!
The french loved to attack spanish. So that's why the french hate the spanish. (Probably.) Oh wait, they forgot, and number 2, they do not hate each other. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.
The amount of slaves in Haiti was HUGE! Bigger than the amount of french there. That's a lot.
Poor whites were sad that they didn't have good amounts of power.
Slavery SUCKS! And don't say it in the wrong way. If you say slaves suck, I would rip your arm off and make you bite your tongue, right on the spot.
Revolutions comes from the word revolt.
Revolting might become a whole dang revolution. Like Lybia, Egypt and Syria,
The French were at war with the Spanish and the Brits for the island of Haiti.
Jaques Dessalines was a lieutenant in Toussiant Louverture's army.
Toussiant gave himself his name, his old name was more african.
Reintroducing slavery is not funny. So the Slaves decided to revolt.
End of post! See ya next week guys!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
French Revolution
The french revolution was pretty bad, but it changed more than the american revolution.
The People with the money never payed taxes.
King Louis the 16 locked the doors!
TENNIS COURT OATH!
Louis the XVI was moved by women because they invaded Versaiiles.
The national assembly killed people for sum reason.
Alot. Alot!
The Holy Roman Emperor was lol not holy etc
Guillotine was killed by a Guillotine. Ironic.
It isn't fun to get guillotined.
The French Days are werid, luckily, not anymore!
THE CONSUL!
Bonaparte! He was tiny. Very tiny. He's all walking around and saying random french stuff.
The Tennis Court oath is pretty cool, they vowed to not stop until a declaration was signed.
Fancy People get all the food, NOT ANYMORE!
The French Revolution was made because they wanted food! Do you like food?
Then you like the french revolution! It didn't change much, but it still gave us food!
French Like stripes, especially the revolutionary french.
The revolutionary french symbol is kinda weird, like a weird woman in topless garb, holding a french revolutionary flag. Pretty weird huh? I don't like it, but if she has the french flag, everyone likes her. It isn't fun to be half naked. Why don't you use the flag to cover your shirtless self! And that's how flag shirts were invented. LOL.
By the way, french invaded the bastille on bastille day!
The french revolution did not change too much about nobility. LOL. But now it did!
Now the french are just like any other country! They have special forces (GIGN)
, A president (François Hollande) and a good flag.
By the way, when you die, guillotine is not the way to go.
If you get executed, remember, lethal drip is the way to go.
But I hope that does not happen.
By the way, guillotine is not funny. Heh Heh, chopping off heads. Heh Heh.
The French Revolution changed history more than the american revolution.
The people with the money never pay taxes. It's that unfair.
Marie Antionette did not really say "Let them eat cake."
French liked to eat songbirds, it was a delicacy.
The third estate is pretty bad. You know what it is? Everyone that isn't rich and isn't a priest.
French invaded the Bastille for guns. Just guns.
The French Revolution is pretty bad, it was brutal, everyone royal died.
Armed peasant women are very dangerous. They just invaded the place with torches and pitchforks. And that was still enough for the royals to leave.
France was a hell-hole while the french revolution was happening. It was pretty much a problem for people who wanted to go to paris to see the eiffel tower. What? The Eiffel Tower was not made yet? Darnit, history always getting the best of me.
By the way, by just one vote, Charles was sentenced to the guillotine.
I wonder if the kids of the nobles were killed????????????????
The children were probably killed. BY STARVING!
By the way, the tennis court oath is amazing, because they made an oath! IN A TENNIS COURT! Who does that? The french rebels. Vive la revolution!
By the way, french nobles had food, normal french did not. So keep it that way, hang on to that idea.
Do not fire on jacobins.
When the National Assembly fired on the Jacobins, they got in big trouble.
Pillnitz. The weirdest name ever known. And it is a name for a declaration.
The last legal execution in France was via guillotine!
Maxmillien Robespierre! WOOT! He got killed by his followers! NOOOOO!
By the way, the alot is a very rare animal. Search for it. Send me a picture.
The french revolution is very complicated, I don't want to mess with it. The past is never dead, not even passed.
Revolutions exchange kings for other leaders, which does not change much. It's like when you leave the house away from your bossy dad and crabby mom, they're still there.
ALOT!
Do you want to eat songbirds? I want to! What?! They look pretty delicious, like chicken.
By the way, King Louis locks doors on the new national assembly.
Tea was, in no way, related to the french revolution. Cake was not either.
Arm yourself with pitchforks on the next revolution! Well, not really. The best thing to arm yourself with now for revolutions in the present is AK-47s and RPG-7s.
Guillotines get a feature in the horror movies, which is pretty good. BECAUSE THEY ARE HORRIBLE.
What I thought the whole time on the french revolution was "THINK OF THE CHILDREN"
Napoleon Bonaparte is very very awesome, because he used artillery in an awesome way! PEW PEW PEW! PEW PEW! The end!
The People with the money never payed taxes.
King Louis the 16 locked the doors!
TENNIS COURT OATH!
Louis the XVI was moved by women because they invaded Versaiiles.
The national assembly killed people for sum reason.
Alot. Alot!
The Holy Roman Emperor was lol not holy etc
Guillotine was killed by a Guillotine. Ironic.
It isn't fun to get guillotined.
The French Days are werid, luckily, not anymore!
THE CONSUL!
Bonaparte! He was tiny. Very tiny. He's all walking around and saying random french stuff.
The Tennis Court oath is pretty cool, they vowed to not stop until a declaration was signed.
Fancy People get all the food, NOT ANYMORE!
The French Revolution was made because they wanted food! Do you like food?
Then you like the french revolution! It didn't change much, but it still gave us food!
French Like stripes, especially the revolutionary french.
The revolutionary french symbol is kinda weird, like a weird woman in topless garb, holding a french revolutionary flag. Pretty weird huh? I don't like it, but if she has the french flag, everyone likes her. It isn't fun to be half naked. Why don't you use the flag to cover your shirtless self! And that's how flag shirts were invented. LOL.
By the way, french invaded the bastille on bastille day!
The french revolution did not change too much about nobility. LOL. But now it did!
Now the french are just like any other country! They have special forces (GIGN)
, A president (François Hollande) and a good flag.
By the way, when you die, guillotine is not the way to go.
If you get executed, remember, lethal drip is the way to go.
But I hope that does not happen.
By the way, guillotine is not funny. Heh Heh, chopping off heads. Heh Heh.
The French Revolution changed history more than the american revolution.
The people with the money never pay taxes. It's that unfair.
Marie Antionette did not really say "Let them eat cake."
French liked to eat songbirds, it was a delicacy.
The third estate is pretty bad. You know what it is? Everyone that isn't rich and isn't a priest.
French invaded the Bastille for guns. Just guns.
The French Revolution is pretty bad, it was brutal, everyone royal died.
Armed peasant women are very dangerous. They just invaded the place with torches and pitchforks. And that was still enough for the royals to leave.
France was a hell-hole while the french revolution was happening. It was pretty much a problem for people who wanted to go to paris to see the eiffel tower. What? The Eiffel Tower was not made yet? Darnit, history always getting the best of me.
By the way, by just one vote, Charles was sentenced to the guillotine.
I wonder if the kids of the nobles were killed????????????????
The children were probably killed. BY STARVING!
By the way, the tennis court oath is amazing, because they made an oath! IN A TENNIS COURT! Who does that? The french rebels. Vive la revolution!
By the way, french nobles had food, normal french did not. So keep it that way, hang on to that idea.
Do not fire on jacobins.
When the National Assembly fired on the Jacobins, they got in big trouble.
Pillnitz. The weirdest name ever known. And it is a name for a declaration.
The last legal execution in France was via guillotine!
Maxmillien Robespierre! WOOT! He got killed by his followers! NOOOOO!
By the way, the alot is a very rare animal. Search for it. Send me a picture.
The french revolution is very complicated, I don't want to mess with it. The past is never dead, not even passed.
Revolutions exchange kings for other leaders, which does not change much. It's like when you leave the house away from your bossy dad and crabby mom, they're still there.
ALOT!
Do you want to eat songbirds? I want to! What?! They look pretty delicious, like chicken.
By the way, King Louis locks doors on the new national assembly.
Tea was, in no way, related to the french revolution. Cake was not either.
Arm yourself with pitchforks on the next revolution! Well, not really. The best thing to arm yourself with now for revolutions in the present is AK-47s and RPG-7s.
Guillotines get a feature in the horror movies, which is pretty good. BECAUSE THEY ARE HORRIBLE.
What I thought the whole time on the french revolution was "THINK OF THE CHILDREN"
Napoleon Bonaparte is very very awesome, because he used artillery in an awesome way! PEW PEW PEW! PEW PEW! The end!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
ERMAHGERD! AMHURRICAN REVERRLUSHIEERN!
THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION HAS LOL TEA!
We all love tea! Do you love tea! I LOVE IT!
Colonists dump tea!
Do you know about the Boston Tea Party! I love it! A sea full of tea! I want a taste!
Tea is very great, it is tasty, they even fought wars for it!!!!!
Americans boycotted british stuff!
The Continental Congress! I fergit what it did.
Thomas Jefferson signed the Declaration of Independence!
Some colonists were loyal to the british!
Do you like the government? Of course you don't. LOL. The colonists made it happen!
All men are created equal! Sorry ladies.
Women could not vote! For a long time. That was wrong, so then the women decide to just say Hey let us vote! They did, but then the feminists started saying we can't call us mankind, I LIKE TO CALL MYSELF MANKIND! DONT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
Now we are meant to say Humanity. Srsly, when was that word invented? And what does that mean?
George Washington might have had slave teeth implanted into his jaw! LOL! I have no idea what I am talking about.
The British Government were really really really bossy, but now they are not.
No Stamp Act!
The Boston Massacre was the least massacre of any massacre.
By the way, tea's origin is I HAVE NO IDEA, but let's say india. Because india is the only country that makes sense to make tea. What? Ok, well fine, Japanese invented Green Tea, is that what you wanted to hear? No?
NO STAMP ACT TEA POTS!
I like tea. Do you want to dump $1,000,000 worth of tea into the sea? Then go to the Boston Tea Party.
British did not invent tea. Posers.
But they might have invented English Breakfast. I do not like that tea though.
Sometimes Jefferson went by Jeff.
Most slaves fought with the british because they were promised freedom.
I LOVE TEA! British did not invent tea posers LOL. YOU POSER BRITISH!
Some americans forced people to boycott british items.
Independance day is the day the declaration of independence was signed!
There was an espionage network in america, which was pretty cool.
The american revolution and the war for independence were different. Kinda, not very, but they were "Different".
Thomas Paine's common sense. Another name of something random you should remember.
ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL YAY! YAY! WOOHOO!
If you do not own a lot of land, you cannot vote. If you are a woman, you cannot vote. It was really a bummer in those days.
The french revolution was pretty bad.
The count of chocula is the only part of royalty in america.
You must know how to bowl if you want to be the president. OK? So practice man, you need some practice to be the best person in the land!
George Washington has lots of cool Historical Details.
Canadians are nice, they have a nice national anthem.
By the way, TEA.
Tea is important. NEEEOPE.
British Liked tea, but tea was from china, they were POSERS!
BITTER TYRANNY VARIETY THE MOST DELICIOUS TEA.
Drinking british tea will make you weak! OMG! OMG! OH EM GEE!
Well, at least that's what the physicians said. Everything they say is right, right?
Nay, actually nope. They were hired to say that!
African Americans were not treated like the Whites, which was pretty unfair.
British tea is not really british tea!
Chinese made tea, tea comes from the tea plant. Tea plants do not come from britan, but without tea, british are not british anymore. This whole thing is crazy.
By the way, I like english breakfast as much as the british do, but still, they are POSERS. Don't boycott tea, it is delicious!
A lot of tea post have No Stamp Act on them.
Tax is pretty bad. I HATE TAX! What do they use it for? They just give it to those poor losers that don't even deserve our money! There IS a reason that they are poor! BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY BAD AT TAKING CARE OF THEIR MONEY! This is a lesson. A lesson that means: You rich people are rich because you are smart,(or if you are stupid and just inherited a buttload of money) and I want to keep it that way. Presidents just do that because they want to be voted for, which makes them president! THAT IS A PROBLEM! That is not what's meant to happen! It's like BRIBING someone to vote for you! If you agree with this, tell me in the comments, but I have more! Some people that are poor are at poor countries, that is different. They just need FOOD. So donate today! DO NOT DONATE TO THOSE SUCKERS THAT WANT MONEY! Give it to those poor people who need money and food! The american revolution did not change much..
So get your children to log on to Freerice.com, or something like that. But that's not really what I want to talk about, what I want to talk about is that some poor people are poor because they are just terrible at taking care of their money! Other people just need FOOD. Give them food. Other people are just poor because they waste their money on drugs. (Or the mann co store)
This is my idea on politicians, but there are exceptions. Those exceptions do not become president! THAT IS JUST UNFAIR. There are lots of poor people and only a few rich people, which means poor people vote for those presidents that STEAL your money! This is my idea on what the american revolution did for us, they let poor people vote for politicians that rob you. I am only 12 years old, and this is my idea on voting! So please, if you can, fix this. Best Wishes, Scoot.
This is the end of this post! Listen to my last words! Please!
We all love tea! Do you love tea! I LOVE IT!
Colonists dump tea!
Do you know about the Boston Tea Party! I love it! A sea full of tea! I want a taste!
Tea is very great, it is tasty, they even fought wars for it!!!!!
Americans boycotted british stuff!
The Continental Congress! I fergit what it did.
Thomas Jefferson signed the Declaration of Independence!
Some colonists were loyal to the british!
Do you like the government? Of course you don't. LOL. The colonists made it happen!
All men are created equal! Sorry ladies.
Women could not vote! For a long time. That was wrong, so then the women decide to just say Hey let us vote! They did, but then the feminists started saying we can't call us mankind, I LIKE TO CALL MYSELF MANKIND! DONT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!
Now we are meant to say Humanity. Srsly, when was that word invented? And what does that mean?
George Washington might have had slave teeth implanted into his jaw! LOL! I have no idea what I am talking about.
The British Government were really really really bossy, but now they are not.
No Stamp Act!
The Boston Massacre was the least massacre of any massacre.
By the way, tea's origin is I HAVE NO IDEA, but let's say india. Because india is the only country that makes sense to make tea. What? Ok, well fine, Japanese invented Green Tea, is that what you wanted to hear? No?
NO STAMP ACT TEA POTS!
I like tea. Do you want to dump $1,000,000 worth of tea into the sea? Then go to the Boston Tea Party.
British did not invent tea. Posers.
But they might have invented English Breakfast. I do not like that tea though.
Sometimes Jefferson went by Jeff.
Most slaves fought with the british because they were promised freedom.
I LOVE TEA! British did not invent tea posers LOL. YOU POSER BRITISH!
Some americans forced people to boycott british items.
Independance day is the day the declaration of independence was signed!
There was an espionage network in america, which was pretty cool.
The american revolution and the war for independence were different. Kinda, not very, but they were "Different".
Thomas Paine's common sense. Another name of something random you should remember.
ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL YAY! YAY! WOOHOO!
If you do not own a lot of land, you cannot vote. If you are a woman, you cannot vote. It was really a bummer in those days.
The french revolution was pretty bad.
The count of chocula is the only part of royalty in america.
You must know how to bowl if you want to be the president. OK? So practice man, you need some practice to be the best person in the land!
George Washington has lots of cool Historical Details.
Canadians are nice, they have a nice national anthem.
By the way, TEA.
Tea is important. NEEEOPE.
British Liked tea, but tea was from china, they were POSERS!
BITTER TYRANNY VARIETY THE MOST DELICIOUS TEA.
Drinking british tea will make you weak! OMG! OMG! OH EM GEE!
Well, at least that's what the physicians said. Everything they say is right, right?
Nay, actually nope. They were hired to say that!
African Americans were not treated like the Whites, which was pretty unfair.
British tea is not really british tea!
Chinese made tea, tea comes from the tea plant. Tea plants do not come from britan, but without tea, british are not british anymore. This whole thing is crazy.
By the way, I like english breakfast as much as the british do, but still, they are POSERS. Don't boycott tea, it is delicious!
A lot of tea post have No Stamp Act on them.
Tax is pretty bad. I HATE TAX! What do they use it for? They just give it to those poor losers that don't even deserve our money! There IS a reason that they are poor! BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY BAD AT TAKING CARE OF THEIR MONEY! This is a lesson. A lesson that means: You rich people are rich because you are smart,(or if you are stupid and just inherited a buttload of money) and I want to keep it that way. Presidents just do that because they want to be voted for, which makes them president! THAT IS A PROBLEM! That is not what's meant to happen! It's like BRIBING someone to vote for you! If you agree with this, tell me in the comments, but I have more! Some people that are poor are at poor countries, that is different. They just need FOOD. So donate today! DO NOT DONATE TO THOSE SUCKERS THAT WANT MONEY! Give it to those poor people who need money and food! The american revolution did not change much..
So get your children to log on to Freerice.com, or something like that. But that's not really what I want to talk about, what I want to talk about is that some poor people are poor because they are just terrible at taking care of their money! Other people just need FOOD. Give them food. Other people are just poor because they waste their money on drugs. (Or the mann co store)
This is my idea on politicians, but there are exceptions. Those exceptions do not become president! THAT IS JUST UNFAIR. There are lots of poor people and only a few rich people, which means poor people vote for those presidents that STEAL your money! This is my idea on what the american revolution did for us, they let poor people vote for politicians that rob you. I am only 12 years old, and this is my idea on voting! So please, if you can, fix this. Best Wishes, Scoot.
This is the end of this post! Listen to my last words! Please!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Captain Hoo... Koo.... COOK!
Captain Hook had an astonishing death because of crocodiles..... Wait, director? It was captain cook? DARNIT.
Captain Cook destroyed the culture of a lot of really really nice Aboriginies.
Kipling has one mustache!
Cook was killed for some religious reason LOL! NOT REALLY!
There is a problem with Cook's death, I MEAN IT IS WRONG! IT IS A MYTH!
Cook is one cranky captain.
Cook got cranky after hawaiians stole from his ships, so he decided to kill ALL OF THEM.
He got killed in return Lawl.
Normally, if a person sails to a place with a tribe, they think he's a god.
LOL, that was really weird.
Hawaiians were pretty much the good guys from my point of view.
Australia had a lot of success for a colony, a lot of people went to it!
Captain cook was good at not giving his crew lots of scurvy! Scurvy scurvy scurvy!
Cook determined that austraila did not exist.
Scurvy is terrible, your skin starts peeling off and blood goes everywhere and..... It's better if I don't describe it any more.
Europeans take a lot of money from other people.
Cook landed in hawaii, in Kealakekua Bay to explore the islands.
NO GODS ARE KILLED IN HAWAIIAN RELIGION.
Cook got in a firefight after some natives stole his boat. He died in that firefight.
Is cook good or bad? Tell me in the comments, as always.
Europeans got obsessed with weird stuff, like cool new countries, and they brought lots of stuff with them, including religion, stuff and finally, EUROPEANS.
Captain Cook did a really controversial thing! Do you know what it is? DYING.
Cook was awesome in himself, he FOUND HAWAII!
One of my friends left me for hawaii and he had an Xbox! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOO
Now I only kinda like hawaii!!
Cook mapped the cost of Australia, I'm not sure if they got to the New Zealand.
Do you want to look like kipling? Use a fake mustache. It really looks like him.
Kipling has circular glasses.
Why was Cook killed??????? I don't even know!
Do you want to drive away Lono? Lol do you know how?
Cook is really cool, because he was good at not giving his crew scurvy.
Native Hawaiians are thought not to be smart, but they are extremely smart, do you see their houses?
If you catch a place on fire, you should pay with 2 hatchets! Yeah! It's really a great idea, it's really good! (SARCASM ALERT!)
There is a lot of disease in europe, which spread to hawaii, which is a problem for the native hawaiians. Poor hawaiians. They didn't deserve it, you evil europeans.
I LOVE HAWAII! Stereotype hawaii is weird, with all these cocktail bars and all these pineapples and all these coconut cups!
Crocodiles did not kill Captain Cook.
There are lots of Historian Feuds based on Captain Cook, because of his unexplainable death, which we all think we have the answers to.
Do you want to know what happened? Ask the hawaiians, they know!
LOL not really. I'm not sure. Maybe.
WE DID IT! WE FINALLY TALKED ABOUT AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND! HUZZAH! Well duh, we did.
LOL scurvy. I actually should not be laughing. Scurvy hurts. IT IS PAINFUL HURRRRTS OH MY GAWD HELP ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOO MY SKIN IS PEELING OFF OH MAI GAWD MAKE THIS HORRIBLE THING STOP OH MY GAWD PLS PLS OH MY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO "Dead"
And that is how you die if you do not eat fruits or veggies. YOU ARE ONE BIG IDIOT IF YOU DONT EAT VITAMIN C!
The hawaiians like to beat people up when they are related to a god. LOL not really.
Captain Cook's death was awesome, and it was not via Crocodiles.
AUSTRALIA IS REAL! WOOHOO! LOL. No really. Captain Cook did not believe in australia until he saw it for himself. He never went to antarctica though.
Do you like the weird birds and marsupials around this place? Well this is the reason. THEY WERE TAKEN FROM AUSTRALIA.
Natives are not Half Devil and Half Child. That's just racist.
Kealakekua Bay! The weirdest name ever.
The hawaiians decided that Captain Cook was a selfish guy, so they KILLED HIM. Serves him right.
The hawaiian king gets killed in the Makahiki. Is that how to spell it?
Islands Of History. A book that is full of crap. IT IS TRUE.
Do you want to read Islands Of History? Well it's fine... but don't believe it.
Lono is associated with fertility, but Cook mostly brought famine.
So, for the last sentence for this post, Cook does not equal Lono. The End.
Captain Cook destroyed the culture of a lot of really really nice Aboriginies.
Kipling has one mustache!
Cook was killed for some religious reason LOL! NOT REALLY!
There is a problem with Cook's death, I MEAN IT IS WRONG! IT IS A MYTH!
Cook is one cranky captain.
Cook got cranky after hawaiians stole from his ships, so he decided to kill ALL OF THEM.
He got killed in return Lawl.
Normally, if a person sails to a place with a tribe, they think he's a god.
LOL, that was really weird.
Hawaiians were pretty much the good guys from my point of view.
Australia had a lot of success for a colony, a lot of people went to it!
Captain cook was good at not giving his crew lots of scurvy! Scurvy scurvy scurvy!
Cook determined that austraila did not exist.
Scurvy is terrible, your skin starts peeling off and blood goes everywhere and..... It's better if I don't describe it any more.
Europeans take a lot of money from other people.
Cook landed in hawaii, in Kealakekua Bay to explore the islands.
NO GODS ARE KILLED IN HAWAIIAN RELIGION.
Cook got in a firefight after some natives stole his boat. He died in that firefight.
Is cook good or bad? Tell me in the comments, as always.
Europeans got obsessed with weird stuff, like cool new countries, and they brought lots of stuff with them, including religion, stuff and finally, EUROPEANS.
Captain Cook did a really controversial thing! Do you know what it is? DYING.
Cook was awesome in himself, he FOUND HAWAII!
One of my friends left me for hawaii and he had an Xbox! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOO
Now I only kinda like hawaii!!
Cook mapped the cost of Australia, I'm not sure if they got to the New Zealand.
Do you want to look like kipling? Use a fake mustache. It really looks like him.
Kipling has circular glasses.
Why was Cook killed??????? I don't even know!
Do you want to drive away Lono? Lol do you know how?
Cook is really cool, because he was good at not giving his crew scurvy.
Native Hawaiians are thought not to be smart, but they are extremely smart, do you see their houses?
If you catch a place on fire, you should pay with 2 hatchets! Yeah! It's really a great idea, it's really good! (SARCASM ALERT!)
There is a lot of disease in europe, which spread to hawaii, which is a problem for the native hawaiians. Poor hawaiians. They didn't deserve it, you evil europeans.
I LOVE HAWAII! Stereotype hawaii is weird, with all these cocktail bars and all these pineapples and all these coconut cups!
Crocodiles did not kill Captain Cook.
There are lots of Historian Feuds based on Captain Cook, because of his unexplainable death, which we all think we have the answers to.
Do you want to know what happened? Ask the hawaiians, they know!
LOL not really. I'm not sure. Maybe.
WE DID IT! WE FINALLY TALKED ABOUT AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND! HUZZAH! Well duh, we did.
LOL scurvy. I actually should not be laughing. Scurvy hurts. IT IS PAINFUL HURRRRTS OH MY GAWD HELP ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOO MY SKIN IS PEELING OFF OH MAI GAWD MAKE THIS HORRIBLE THING STOP OH MY GAWD PLS PLS OH MY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO "Dead"
And that is how you die if you do not eat fruits or veggies. YOU ARE ONE BIG IDIOT IF YOU DONT EAT VITAMIN C!
The hawaiians like to beat people up when they are related to a god. LOL not really.
Captain Cook's death was awesome, and it was not via Crocodiles.
AUSTRALIA IS REAL! WOOHOO! LOL. No really. Captain Cook did not believe in australia until he saw it for himself. He never went to antarctica though.
Do you like the weird birds and marsupials around this place? Well this is the reason. THEY WERE TAKEN FROM AUSTRALIA.
Natives are not Half Devil and Half Child. That's just racist.
Kealakekua Bay! The weirdest name ever.
The hawaiians decided that Captain Cook was a selfish guy, so they KILLED HIM. Serves him right.
The hawaiian king gets killed in the Makahiki. Is that how to spell it?
Islands Of History. A book that is full of crap. IT IS TRUE.
Do you want to read Islands Of History? Well it's fine... but don't believe it.
Lono is associated with fertility, but Cook mostly brought famine.
So, for the last sentence for this post, Cook does not equal Lono. The End.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Seven Years War
Wars always have a fair bit of death.
The Seven Years war lasted 7 years.
The Seven Years War was fought between the british and the french.
The British and the French were supported by the native americans.
The British defeated the French and captured the city of Quebec.
The British commander General Wolf's death was immortalized in a painting.
General Wolf was known as one of the most handsome Generals.
Europeans didn't know that the Natives were raising crops.
Europeans decided that it was O.K that they could just take the land from the Natives.
In general the Natives got along better with the french.
The Seven Years war was fought to end slavery.
Plague Victims have lots of troubles.
Native Americans Participated a lot in English wars.
The europeans decided that it was OK to take a lot of land.
Jesuits tried to turn Natives into christianity.
The british lost more men to disease than war.
British wanted lots of territory.
The Black Hole was a place where Indians threw their prisoners in.
Mmmmmmm..... Bubbles.
Do you want generals to have the bad last words and Plague Victims to have the good last words? Tell me in the comments.
Maria Theresa was awesome. You should look her up. Seriously.
How long did the seven years war last? If you said 23 years, you are not completely wrong.
American Indians fought each other when they sided with different countries, they love guns, and they love bows.
18th century war is really seriously weird. George Washington was captured and released in a battle for some weird reason.
There are only are a few wars known to be longer than the Seven Years War.
Including............ The Hundred Years war and the War in Afghanistan.
The French lost the Seven Years War.
Seven years is pretty long for a war.
The Last words of plague victims is usually "Ugggggggggggggggghhhhh."
The French and the British were enemies.
Washington fired the first shot at the battle for fort necessity.
Native farming was different from european farming.
French like trading, like me in Team Fortress 2.
The East India Company was very successful, it had lots of troops.
Robert Clive was not very likeable.
The British had control of the trade in bengal, which gave them a better advantage against the French.
The French sold Louisiana to the americans in 1803.
Pillaging the countryside is very common for soldiers.
There are a lot of explosions in wars.
Mortally wounded generals usually have great last words, compared to the last words of plague victims.
The hundred year's war lasted more than 100 years.
The french were fighting the prussians, The British fought the Austrians.
British wanted land, french wanted trade.
General Wolf and General Montcolm (NO IDEA TO SPELL LAWL) both died in the same war.
Generals have great last words, like lets go to asgard and have some ham.
THE UNITED STATES FOUGHT ITSELF! North fought south. Forever. JK. Of course.
They fought for slaves. The north said slaves were wrong, and the south said nope. You make your decision.
The seven years war is pretty much a continuation of the war for austrian succession.
The British hated the French and the French hated the British. The British captured India, they made the East India Company, and then they went on the great hunt for saltpeter! After that, indians found out about pork in their weapons. And then the GREAT BIG GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG GREAT BIG rebellion started. But there were still signs of rebellion before that. I don't know why I am talking about this, I've been playing too much Age of empires lately, dood.
World War 1 was probably the seven years war, according to Winston Churchill.
The British fought the Austrians, which was pretty weird, considering that their number 1 enemy was France.
French owned trading posts in land, but when the British came, they were all like
Je ne veux pas le maudit britanniques dans ma ville ! Thank you babylon, for your English to French translator.
The French love trade! J'aime le commerce plus que tout au monde fous.
Napoleon was the one who sold louisiana! Hi Thomas Jefferson ! Voulez-vous la Louisiane? Oui. Oui ! Il est tellement bon marché ! Achetez-le !
I am the french master. Not really. Spy! Le medic est un espion.
Some of the british were actually americans. Like George Washington. 18th century war is really weird sometimes, it's really really really DARN WEEEEEEIRD.
Different tribes supported different countries.
European women sometimes preferred to stay with the native tribes instead of getting rescued.
The Epicness of The Seven Years War was weird. AMAZING BECAUSE OF AMAZINGNESS.
18th century war was super weird.
Europeans took a whole lotta land. It was kewl. Until they stole Native American's land! HOW COULD YOU YOU EVEN PSYCHO KICK?! What does that even mean I do not know but Pls forgeev me.
There was a lot of death, and more death. AND MOAR DEATH IN THE SEVEN YEARS WAR!
Don't insult Emissaries. They will report to their prince who will attack you and attack you and ATTACK YOU!
The East India Company was horrifying. And Horrible. They had their own army and they loved Saltpeter. Crazy fellows! Oh noes! I played too much Age Of Empires, sorry!
Winning is Losing and Losing Is Winning. Such is life and Such is history. OR IS IT? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN!!! DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
The Seven Years war lasted 7 years.
The Seven Years War was fought between the british and the french.
The British and the French were supported by the native americans.
The British defeated the French and captured the city of Quebec.
The British commander General Wolf's death was immortalized in a painting.
General Wolf was known as one of the most handsome Generals.
Europeans didn't know that the Natives were raising crops.
Europeans decided that it was O.K that they could just take the land from the Natives.
In general the Natives got along better with the french.
The Seven Years war was fought to end slavery.
Plague Victims have lots of troubles.
Native Americans Participated a lot in English wars.
The europeans decided that it was OK to take a lot of land.
Jesuits tried to turn Natives into christianity.
The british lost more men to disease than war.
British wanted lots of territory.
The Black Hole was a place where Indians threw their prisoners in.
Mmmmmmm..... Bubbles.
Do you want generals to have the bad last words and Plague Victims to have the good last words? Tell me in the comments.
Maria Theresa was awesome. You should look her up. Seriously.
How long did the seven years war last? If you said 23 years, you are not completely wrong.
American Indians fought each other when they sided with different countries, they love guns, and they love bows.
18th century war is really seriously weird. George Washington was captured and released in a battle for some weird reason.
There are only are a few wars known to be longer than the Seven Years War.
Including............ The Hundred Years war and the War in Afghanistan.
The French lost the Seven Years War.
Seven years is pretty long for a war.
The Last words of plague victims is usually "Ugggggggggggggggghhhhh."
The French and the British were enemies.
Washington fired the first shot at the battle for fort necessity.
Native farming was different from european farming.
French like trading, like me in Team Fortress 2.
The East India Company was very successful, it had lots of troops.
Robert Clive was not very likeable.
The British had control of the trade in bengal, which gave them a better advantage against the French.
The French sold Louisiana to the americans in 1803.
Pillaging the countryside is very common for soldiers.
There are a lot of explosions in wars.
Mortally wounded generals usually have great last words, compared to the last words of plague victims.
The hundred year's war lasted more than 100 years.
The french were fighting the prussians, The British fought the Austrians.
British wanted land, french wanted trade.
General Wolf and General Montcolm (NO IDEA TO SPELL LAWL) both died in the same war.
Generals have great last words, like lets go to asgard and have some ham.
THE UNITED STATES FOUGHT ITSELF! North fought south. Forever. JK. Of course.
They fought for slaves. The north said slaves were wrong, and the south said nope. You make your decision.
The seven years war is pretty much a continuation of the war for austrian succession.
The British hated the French and the French hated the British. The British captured India, they made the East India Company, and then they went on the great hunt for saltpeter! After that, indians found out about pork in their weapons. And then the GREAT BIG GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG GREAT BIG rebellion started. But there were still signs of rebellion before that. I don't know why I am talking about this, I've been playing too much Age of empires lately, dood.
World War 1 was probably the seven years war, according to Winston Churchill.
The British fought the Austrians, which was pretty weird, considering that their number 1 enemy was France.
French owned trading posts in land, but when the British came, they were all like
Je ne veux pas le maudit britanniques dans ma ville ! Thank you babylon, for your English to French translator.
The French love trade! J'aime le commerce plus que tout au monde fous.
Napoleon was the one who sold louisiana! Hi Thomas Jefferson ! Voulez-vous la Louisiane? Oui. Oui ! Il est tellement bon marché ! Achetez-le !
I am the french master. Not really. Spy! Le medic est un espion.
Some of the british were actually americans. Like George Washington. 18th century war is really weird sometimes, it's really really really DARN WEEEEEEIRD.
Different tribes supported different countries.
European women sometimes preferred to stay with the native tribes instead of getting rescued.
The Epicness of The Seven Years War was weird. AMAZING BECAUSE OF AMAZINGNESS.
18th century war was super weird.
Europeans took a whole lotta land. It was kewl. Until they stole Native American's land! HOW COULD YOU YOU EVEN PSYCHO KICK?! What does that even mean I do not know but Pls forgeev me.
There was a lot of death, and more death. AND MOAR DEATH IN THE SEVEN YEARS WAR!
Don't insult Emissaries. They will report to their prince who will attack you and attack you and ATTACK YOU!
The East India Company was horrifying. And Horrible. They had their own army and they loved Saltpeter. Crazy fellows! Oh noes! I played too much Age Of Empires, sorry!
Winning is Losing and Losing Is Winning. Such is life and Such is history. OR IS IT? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUN! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN!!! DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
Monday, August 13, 2012
SPANEESH EMPAIRE
The aztecs had an emperor and some nobles.
The aztecs are known about their ripping out hearts thing.
The aztecs thought that the world could end any second and they must sacrifice lots and lots of humans so it won't happen.
The incas are older than the aztecs.
Spanish wanted gold. GOLD! GAAAWLD!
Japanese love silver.
Japaneese and Chinese liked silver, it was precious.
Spanish love Precious metal, and the spanish were even willing to destroy 2 empires to get what they wanted.
Human Sacrifice kinda makes sense.
THE WORLD WILL END IN 2012 EVERYONE! OH NO! WAIT IT HASN'T! OH NO IT WILL END IN 2013!
Ferdinand Magellan died in the country he decided to discover. After a HUGE battle, he got hit by a spear in his arm, and then he got swarmed by bolo using maniacs.
Ferdinand wanted to convert Filipinos into Christianity. Big mistake. Filipinos believe what they want.
Aztec religion believed that Apocalypse!
By the way, Zane's answer to everything is Tornado Of Creation?
Spanish Mines produced 150,000 tons of silver through it's history.
Spain didn't benefit much from silver.
Spain loved to destroy kingdoms, specifically because of getting treasure.
The holy roman empire is a great name! It names something that wasn't holy, wasn't roman, and wasn't an empire!
Chinese printed paper money,
Chinese coins were made out of copper or bronze.
The 16th century was pretty good.
The Olmecs was a very old old old old old old old old old old old old old old OLD empire. OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD.......................................................
Gods love munching on human hearts. No really. In the Aztec religion they do.
TEOHITUCA- Teohee- The- GRAAH! ITS SO HARD TO SPELL TEOTIHUACAN! Wait... Oh, good.
Aztecs lived in mexico, which is close to america, Incas lived a little further away.
The Aztecs formed out of a alliance between the 3 cities of Texcoco, Tlacop'an and none other than Tenochtitlan.
The Aztecs were probably the best at architecture of all of the american empires.
The Olmecs were pretty old. OLD. The Mayans were also pretty old.
Tenochtitlan had a lot of water routes just like Venice.
Every male peasant under Incan control had to do unpaid work for a specified time each year.
The Viceroyalty of Spain covered most of north america and The Viceroyalty of Peru covered almost all of south america.
Mercury is used to refine silver ore.
Spanish Silver Pesos were made the De Facto currency of spain.
Charles was the leader of the holy roman empire.
William Shakespeare loved to write about wars and stuff.
Silk was sold for silver.
The ming dynasty was busy making a huge wall, and then they were conquered by the manchus. NOT THE FU MANCHUS.
Precious Metals and People were offered to the gods of the Aztecs.
The Conquistadors didn't find what they wanted, they found something slightly less valuable. Close enough.
Conquistadors are Spanish, of course, which means Spanish owned most of America.
Ferdinand was Charles' son.
Philip got all the Spanish stuff, like North America, South America and The Philippines. NOT A COINCIDENCE.
Spanish got lots of silver lol.
The Aztec Chinampas are water gardens.
The Incas were on a far side of south america.
Most of the spanish aristocrats ran some farms.
Mountains made out of silver. The incas have it.
In south america, it's less expensive to use incas instead of slaves in mining.
But that's wrong. Lots of Incas died in the operation of mining silver.
YAY SILVER!
The Ming Government spent too much on stuff.
Gold is normally the topic of people going crazy for a metal, but silver is another story.
The Columbian Exchange is quite a bad time. FOR THE NATIVE AMERICANS! They always got the diseases, and the death, and that kinda stuff. Columbus is so selfish. CAPITALISM SUCKS!
We used to have never seen a Tomato or a Catfish or that kind of thing. Very sad, very sad. I love tomatoes. They give me my awesome pizza and that kind of stuff! Spaghetti too! I LOVE SPAGHETTI, PIZZA AND DAT KIND OF EETALIAN STUFF! YUMMA YUMMA YUM!
Best way to spread disease? Fighting! The cuts, and that kind of thing. The bacteria gets inside the cuts, and lo and behold, you got smallpox. I'm glad it's eliminated. I still got the shot though, WHAT GIVES?!
Oh, and I should call the Native Americans Americans. They were the first there, they should be called Americans and we should be call stupid Brits. But seriously, we made the american's lives suck.
Everything is a bummer in the old days. When people move into countries, they usually bring the stupid horrible stuff that they had along the way, which is pretty crappy.
Would you try to please your gods through human sacrifice, if so, then I think you should see someone. Maybe the Psychologist. IF YOU SACRIFICE HIM, THEN I THINK YOU NEED TO BE KILLED.
Human Sacrifice makes a little sense if you think that the world's going to end. So I guess we shouldn't hate them too much. WE SHOULD HATE DISEASE! We all hate disease! Horray! So we can ally and defeat disease in a war where it's humans vs disease, which is technically a chemical war, if you think about it long enough.
If you played Serious Sam: The Second Encounter then I guess you know about South America! If not, then go play it. If you don't want to, then shame on you.
The aztecs are known about their ripping out hearts thing.
The aztecs thought that the world could end any second and they must sacrifice lots and lots of humans so it won't happen.
The incas are older than the aztecs.
Spanish wanted gold. GOLD! GAAAWLD!
Japanese love silver.
Japaneese and Chinese liked silver, it was precious.
Spanish love Precious metal, and the spanish were even willing to destroy 2 empires to get what they wanted.
Human Sacrifice kinda makes sense.
THE WORLD WILL END IN 2012 EVERYONE! OH NO! WAIT IT HASN'T! OH NO IT WILL END IN 2013!
Ferdinand Magellan died in the country he decided to discover. After a HUGE battle, he got hit by a spear in his arm, and then he got swarmed by bolo using maniacs.
Ferdinand wanted to convert Filipinos into Christianity. Big mistake. Filipinos believe what they want.
Aztec religion believed that Apocalypse!
By the way, Zane's answer to everything is Tornado Of Creation?
Spanish Mines produced 150,000 tons of silver through it's history.
Spain didn't benefit much from silver.
Spain loved to destroy kingdoms, specifically because of getting treasure.
The holy roman empire is a great name! It names something that wasn't holy, wasn't roman, and wasn't an empire!
Chinese printed paper money,
Chinese coins were made out of copper or bronze.
The 16th century was pretty good.
The Olmecs was a very old old old old old old old old old old old old old old OLD empire. OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD.......................................................
Gods love munching on human hearts. No really. In the Aztec religion they do.
TEOHITUCA- Teohee- The- GRAAH! ITS SO HARD TO SPELL TEOTIHUACAN! Wait... Oh, good.
Aztecs lived in mexico, which is close to america, Incas lived a little further away.
The Aztecs formed out of a alliance between the 3 cities of Texcoco, Tlacop'an and none other than Tenochtitlan.
The Aztecs were probably the best at architecture of all of the american empires.
The Olmecs were pretty old. OLD. The Mayans were also pretty old.
Tenochtitlan had a lot of water routes just like Venice.
Every male peasant under Incan control had to do unpaid work for a specified time each year.
The Viceroyalty of Spain covered most of north america and The Viceroyalty of Peru covered almost all of south america.
Mercury is used to refine silver ore.
Spanish Silver Pesos were made the De Facto currency of spain.
Charles was the leader of the holy roman empire.
William Shakespeare loved to write about wars and stuff.
Silk was sold for silver.
The ming dynasty was busy making a huge wall, and then they were conquered by the manchus. NOT THE FU MANCHUS.
Precious Metals and People were offered to the gods of the Aztecs.
The Conquistadors didn't find what they wanted, they found something slightly less valuable. Close enough.
Conquistadors are Spanish, of course, which means Spanish owned most of America.
Ferdinand was Charles' son.
Philip got all the Spanish stuff, like North America, South America and The Philippines. NOT A COINCIDENCE.
Spanish got lots of silver lol.
The Aztec Chinampas are water gardens.
The Incas were on a far side of south america.
Most of the spanish aristocrats ran some farms.
Mountains made out of silver. The incas have it.
In south america, it's less expensive to use incas instead of slaves in mining.
But that's wrong. Lots of Incas died in the operation of mining silver.
YAY SILVER!
The Ming Government spent too much on stuff.
Gold is normally the topic of people going crazy for a metal, but silver is another story.
The Columbian Exchange is quite a bad time. FOR THE NATIVE AMERICANS! They always got the diseases, and the death, and that kinda stuff. Columbus is so selfish. CAPITALISM SUCKS!
We used to have never seen a Tomato or a Catfish or that kind of thing. Very sad, very sad. I love tomatoes. They give me my awesome pizza and that kind of stuff! Spaghetti too! I LOVE SPAGHETTI, PIZZA AND DAT KIND OF EETALIAN STUFF! YUMMA YUMMA YUM!
Best way to spread disease? Fighting! The cuts, and that kind of thing. The bacteria gets inside the cuts, and lo and behold, you got smallpox. I'm glad it's eliminated. I still got the shot though, WHAT GIVES?!
Oh, and I should call the Native Americans Americans. They were the first there, they should be called Americans and we should be call stupid Brits. But seriously, we made the american's lives suck.
Everything is a bummer in the old days. When people move into countries, they usually bring the stupid horrible stuff that they had along the way, which is pretty crappy.
Would you try to please your gods through human sacrifice, if so, then I think you should see someone. Maybe the Psychologist. IF YOU SACRIFICE HIM, THEN I THINK YOU NEED TO BE KILLED.
Human Sacrifice makes a little sense if you think that the world's going to end. So I guess we shouldn't hate them too much. WE SHOULD HATE DISEASE! We all hate disease! Horray! So we can ally and defeat disease in a war where it's humans vs disease, which is technically a chemical war, if you think about it long enough.
If you played Serious Sam: The Second Encounter then I guess you know about South America! If not, then go play it. If you don't want to, then shame on you.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Atlantic Slave Trade
Slaves normally only had 4 square feet of space. You can draw that on a blackboard. So you should feel sorry for these people. They are not animals. They were treated like animals though. Luckily, Abe fixed that and The South had to change too. Even if that meant a huge war between them. You can choose who were the good guys, but the north were pretty nice.
Slavery started early in history, but not as early as our hunter-gatherer great great etc grandparents.
Slaves were sold, and they were treated like cattle, they were branded on the cheek.
Slaves did a lot of housework, crafting and even sailing, but they mostly worked in farms. When they farmed sugar cane, they had handrollers that you could get your hand easily stuck in. When that happens...... Well......................
Slave is an overused word. VERY OVERUSED.
Slaves made up 30% of the total population of rome.
Americans traded for slaves, they didn't just raid villages and steal the slaves.
Slaves were traded for metal tools and guns.
Slaves normally worked at sugar press houses for about 48 hours a day. OOPS. 48 HOURS IS LONGER THAN A DAY.
Chattle slavery is when slaves are movable property.
Slaves are removed from the culture, life and greatness of their country. They were also dehumanized.
Some people want to be slaves.
You might be one of those many people who are slaves, working for a CEO of a company and studying at a school. Do you want to change that? Make your own company. But working for someone is a good start!
Sugar Press houses are very hot.
The average lifespan of a slave on the sugar plantation was 23 years.
Slave owners were calculating that if the slaves were healthy they would have children and the slave owners could sell them!
Slavery, really? Ain't funny. Can't make any jokes. Their folk songs were amazing too, and there are lots of folk stories too, that cheered them up during their capped time. I mean, why were the southerners so mean? Buying people isn't allowed anymore so please don't buy someone! Except when NO.
Slaves were property. Of course! They WERE, but now they aren't, because we freed them. Yay! You're free now slaves! Thrive, and have fun!
Slaves didn't have much space when being delivered to the Americas! Oh noes! That's boring, mean and most importantly uncomfortable. No jokes. NO JOKES!
There were no toilets in the ships, so they had to crap inside the box. And no, there isn't a poop joke in there somewhere, because this whole thing is too damn depressing!
If you're happy that slaves were freed, then good for you! Yay! But if you're unhappy, then shame on you! SHAME ON YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I FEEL SO RELAXED!
Slavery started early in history, but not as early as our hunter-gatherer great great etc grandparents.
Slaves were sold, and they were treated like cattle, they were branded on the cheek.
Slaves did a lot of housework, crafting and even sailing, but they mostly worked in farms. When they farmed sugar cane, they had handrollers that you could get your hand easily stuck in. When that happens...... Well......................
Slave is an overused word. VERY OVERUSED.
Slaves made up 30% of the total population of rome.
Americans traded for slaves, they didn't just raid villages and steal the slaves.
Slaves were traded for metal tools and guns.
Slaves normally worked at sugar press houses for about 48 hours a day. OOPS. 48 HOURS IS LONGER THAN A DAY.
Chattle slavery is when slaves are movable property.
Slaves are removed from the culture, life and greatness of their country. They were also dehumanized.
Some people want to be slaves.
You might be one of those many people who are slaves, working for a CEO of a company and studying at a school. Do you want to change that? Make your own company. But working for someone is a good start!
Sugar Press houses are very hot.
The average lifespan of a slave on the sugar plantation was 23 years.
Slave owners were calculating that if the slaves were healthy they would have children and the slave owners could sell them!
Slavery, really? Ain't funny. Can't make any jokes. Their folk songs were amazing too, and there are lots of folk stories too, that cheered them up during their capped time. I mean, why were the southerners so mean? Buying people isn't allowed anymore so please don't buy someone! Except when NO.
Slaves were property. Of course! They WERE, but now they aren't, because we freed them. Yay! You're free now slaves! Thrive, and have fun!
Slaves didn't have much space when being delivered to the Americas! Oh noes! That's boring, mean and most importantly uncomfortable. No jokes. NO JOKES!
There were no toilets in the ships, so they had to crap inside the box. And no, there isn't a poop joke in there somewhere, because this whole thing is too damn depressing!
If you're happy that slaves were freed, then good for you! Yay! But if you're unhappy, then shame on you! SHAME ON YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I FEEL SO RELAXED!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Renaissance
Renaissance art focuses on humans, including lots of statues.
The Renaissance didn't really happen.
The Renaissance started between the 15th and 16th century.
The venetians had the most money in the Renaissance.
In the renaissance, it was thought that the earth was the center of the universe. WRONG.
The sun is the centre of our solar system, but it isn't the center of the universe.
The renaissance was a time where art just flooded through europe.
Florence made cloth and Milan made weps.
Genoa was also a very rich city state. A new challenger appears.
Money from trade with the ottomans could get OVER 9000!!!111!!1 WHAT 9000 THATS IMPOSSIBLE.
Europe is the center of art, life and history.
Donatello and Raphael were born 900 years apart.
The Renaissance was a huge recurring thing, happening and not happening all of the time.
Greek buildings and Renaissance buildings look kinda similar. KINDA KINDA KINDA.
Greek Buildings tend to be ruins.
Literature, history and philosophy were studied in the Renaissance.
Muslim scholars were interested in greek history.
The fall of byzantine meant that a lot of greek philosophers ran away to venice.
Europe was enlightened, and unenlightened, and finally reenlightened for the rest of history until now.
Petrarch and Montaigne were born 200 years apart, that's almost as long as the united states of america has existed! Don't believe me? Just do history on both those topics, stupid.
The scholars which commented on ancient writings were called humanists for some reason.
Venice was richer than Genoa, because venice was the richest city state ever then.
The muslim world was pretty much the source of what the renaissance professors were studying.
The french revolution was one of the times when people knew that they were living history.
The renaissance was mostly visual art, but there was also literature in it.
The Renaissance was a burst of European culture right after the dark ages.
The Dark Ages was terrible for literature, because the Christians burned a lot of books. Not anymore though.
If you squint and ignore that greek buildings tend to be ruins, you might be able to believe that the renaissance buildings are Greek.
The Renaissance artists were religious.
Italy really spawned the renaissance, because of venice.
A city has to be super rich to support artists and stuff like that.
Milan didn't make as much money as venice, but they were pretty good at making guns.
Assassins creed takes place in the renaissance.
The medichees mined alum.
It is true that the ideas introduced into europe in the 15th and 16th century were important.
They only tried to mine alum to make the turks go bankrupt.
Aristotle was pretty much wrong abut everything. Actually! NO! Not everything!
Copernicus was right.
Italy was STINKING RICH. STINKING RICH. That's the whole reason that it started the renaissance. Do you know why? Because they traded with the ottomans. The ottomans also helped by selling alum to them, but a guy found a better solution, and sent a letter to the pope saying "Today I bring you victory over the Turk. Every year they wring from the Christians more than 300,000 ducats for the alum which we dye wool various colors...
But I have found seven mountains so rich in this material that they could supply seven worlds.
If you will give orders to engage workmen, build furnaces and smelt the ore, you will provide all Europe with alum and the Turk will lose all his profits. Instead they will accrue to you..." I got that from crash course. Crash Course, know what it is? I watch that. Haven't noticed yet? You are one big weirdo.
The story goes that the renaissance started the modern era for Secularism, rationality, logic, literature, and individualism.
The renaissance is normally thought to be just based on arts. That is true. The Literary Arts were also there too!
The Renaissance was pretty much like this. "Hey look at this bro!" "What mike?" "Leo, I think that I found something greek, and we should turn it modern!" Great idea Michelangelo! We'll start tomorrow!" Invite Raphael, Donatello and Copernicus to work with us!" "Good Idea bro." "But we need moneys." "Umm, Mike? You live in Italy." "And what does that mea..... Oh." And then the renaissance started. Don't believe anything I said in this story, it's just an example.
Italian alum mines didn't do much.
The muslim world was pretty much the source of what renaissance professors studied.
Istanbul was the library for the humanists, they got most of their greek books there!
Bye! For a long time! I Vill Be Bak.
The Renaissance didn't really happen.
The Renaissance started between the 15th and 16th century.
The venetians had the most money in the Renaissance.
In the renaissance, it was thought that the earth was the center of the universe. WRONG.
The sun is the centre of our solar system, but it isn't the center of the universe.
The renaissance was a time where art just flooded through europe.
Florence made cloth and Milan made weps.
Genoa was also a very rich city state. A new challenger appears.
Money from trade with the ottomans could get OVER 9000!!!111!!1 WHAT 9000 THATS IMPOSSIBLE.
Europe is the center of art, life and history.
Donatello and Raphael were born 900 years apart.
The Renaissance was a huge recurring thing, happening and not happening all of the time.
Greek buildings and Renaissance buildings look kinda similar. KINDA KINDA KINDA.
Greek Buildings tend to be ruins.
Literature, history and philosophy were studied in the Renaissance.
Muslim scholars were interested in greek history.
The fall of byzantine meant that a lot of greek philosophers ran away to venice.
Europe was enlightened, and unenlightened, and finally reenlightened for the rest of history until now.
Petrarch and Montaigne were born 200 years apart, that's almost as long as the united states of america has existed! Don't believe me? Just do history on both those topics, stupid.
The scholars which commented on ancient writings were called humanists for some reason.
Venice was richer than Genoa, because venice was the richest city state ever then.
The muslim world was pretty much the source of what the renaissance professors were studying.
The french revolution was one of the times when people knew that they were living history.
The renaissance was mostly visual art, but there was also literature in it.
The Renaissance was a burst of European culture right after the dark ages.
The Dark Ages was terrible for literature, because the Christians burned a lot of books. Not anymore though.
If you squint and ignore that greek buildings tend to be ruins, you might be able to believe that the renaissance buildings are Greek.
The Renaissance artists were religious.
Italy really spawned the renaissance, because of venice.
A city has to be super rich to support artists and stuff like that.
Milan didn't make as much money as venice, but they were pretty good at making guns.
Assassins creed takes place in the renaissance.
The medichees mined alum.
It is true that the ideas introduced into europe in the 15th and 16th century were important.
They only tried to mine alum to make the turks go bankrupt.
Aristotle was pretty much wrong abut everything. Actually! NO! Not everything!
Copernicus was right.
Italy was STINKING RICH. STINKING RICH. That's the whole reason that it started the renaissance. Do you know why? Because they traded with the ottomans. The ottomans also helped by selling alum to them, but a guy found a better solution, and sent a letter to the pope saying "Today I bring you victory over the Turk. Every year they wring from the Christians more than 300,000 ducats for the alum which we dye wool various colors...
But I have found seven mountains so rich in this material that they could supply seven worlds.
If you will give orders to engage workmen, build furnaces and smelt the ore, you will provide all Europe with alum and the Turk will lose all his profits. Instead they will accrue to you..." I got that from crash course. Crash Course, know what it is? I watch that. Haven't noticed yet? You are one big weirdo.
The story goes that the renaissance started the modern era for Secularism, rationality, logic, literature, and individualism.
The renaissance is normally thought to be just based on arts. That is true. The Literary Arts were also there too!
The Renaissance was pretty much like this. "Hey look at this bro!" "What mike?" "Leo, I think that I found something greek, and we should turn it modern!" Great idea Michelangelo! We'll start tomorrow!" Invite Raphael, Donatello and Copernicus to work with us!" "Good Idea bro." "But we need moneys." "Umm, Mike? You live in Italy." "And what does that mea..... Oh." And then the renaissance started. Don't believe anything I said in this story, it's just an example.
Italian alum mines didn't do much.
The muslim world was pretty much the source of what renaissance professors studied.
Istanbul was the library for the humanists, they got most of their greek books there!
Bye! For a long time! I Vill Be Bak.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
LOL Columbus Vasco Zheng
Vasco Da Gama found the indian ocean trade for the europeans.
The greatest admiral in chinese history was, get this, a eunuch.
The chinese treasure ships were about 400 ft long.
The chinese were great traders in the indian ocean trade route.
Exotic animals were brought back to china by Admiral eunuch.
Portugeese sailors were competing with the chinese, but I think with their then titanic ships, they would have crushed the santa maria.
It's not easy to hit a continent.
The portugeese owned africa.
The world was divided into 2 places, the spanish and the portugeese halves.
Zheng He is the name of Admiral Eunuch.
Zheng He led about 3000 ships in his times.
Ambassadors exchanged gifts for the ability to trade with the chinese emperor.
The great wall was built because people stopped building giant ships.
Granada was where lots of european muslims were found.
Vasco Da Gama was searching for gold and christians.
Columbus has a deserved reputation for sea travel, but Zheng He and Vasco Da Gama was much better than him.
They didn't have general anestesia during the times when Zheng He and Vasco Da Gama were travelling. Just Imagine how much it hurt for Zheng He to get his nice, beautiful apples cut off.
Lots of maps were made, which gave portugeese sailors an advantage.
Portugeese sailors were pretty much pirates, attacking people and forcing the attacked to trade with them.
American Indians are called that because of columbus. I call them Native Americans because that's nicer.
In 1492, columbus discovered america. Or so they say..... I think the Natives there were the rightful founders.
In indian ocean trade, the chinese needed respect if they wanted to trade with any country.
If the chinese never stopped building giant ships, one of the most amazing wonders of the world would never have been created.
Zheng He was a muslim.
China was the leading manufacturer of quality goods in the world.
Zheng He was a medieval animal guy.
The Yongle Emperor died, stopping Zheng He from trading.
Columbus never thought he made it to america, he thought he crashed into indonesia.
Columbus created some christians.
Some.
Zheng He lost both his testicles, but that didn't stop him from becoming one of the best travellers in the world.
The chinese wanted to dominate trade, and for sure, Zheng He was one of the best captains.
Vasco De Gama was looking for a guy so that guy would help them in a crusade.
The portugeese had to rely on extortion to row their ships.
People say that columbus just hit some islands. I don't think so.
Zheng He, De Gama, and Columbus were 3 of the best, no not just best, BESTEST sailors of all time. ALL TIME.
Don't travel through the sea without fruit, or you shall contract scurvy!
Do you want quality goods? Go to china in the monsoon marketplace times.
The Kow Tow is when ambassadors or actual nobles offer the emperor of china gifts, in exchange for the ability to trade with them.
They built the great wall during the monsoon marketplace times, actually, a little after they stopped trading with giant ships. After that, the mongols got pretty mad, they didn't like a huge wall blocking their awesome, sacking, bloodily killing skills.
Krester John was meant to live in africa, and Vasco Da Gama was searching for him everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
Columbus never thought he made it to china.
Columbus was not a lucky lucky idiot.
The Native Americans just kept america when they found out it was available, like "Oh, this land is available? In that case, we'll keep it! It's all the same to you."
Zheng He was the first main figure for ocean travel in the 15th century.
You will need to awknowledge the superiority of the emperor if you want to trade with the rich rich RICH dude.
The portugeese captured a lot of cities, turning them into trading posts.
Without a kartise, you can't trade with the portugeese.
They used to figure out time with a hourglass, which meant it was pretty hard to find out how long you were doing something.
The greatest mariner of the 15th century is up to you, and what is your definition of greatest.
Treasure ships usually had about 7 masts, and there were about 400 of them in an armada.
All you people that criticize Columbus, just please, shut up. Just shut up. SHUT UP!
The chinese didn't dominate trade in the indian ocean after zheng he died.
In columbus' first journey, he found san salvador.
Back to Indian Ocean Trade!
Zheng He went from nice fun life to getting his balls cut off. Very sad. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
And that means he can't impregnate ANYTHING!
Treasure ships are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big. I mean, they're about the length of all my O's. If every O was a meter. That's how long it is. Peanut butteringly big.
Vasco De Gama is awesome! He was a pirate! He looted ships! And he forced captains to sign contracts so he can sell stuff to them! FORCED SELLING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Say goodbye to your money!
Portugal's motivations were to find gold and Christians. Which was almost impossible as most of Christianity was on the European side of Eurasia. Spain is also fun. They also look for gold and Christians.
Columbus landed in the EAST INDIES! Like Magellan. But Magellan made a lot of mistakes. I lied. Columbus thought he landed in the east indies.
The pope split the world into 2 places. SPAIN AND PORTUGAL!
The greatest admiral in chinese history was, get this, a eunuch.
The chinese treasure ships were about 400 ft long.
The chinese were great traders in the indian ocean trade route.
Exotic animals were brought back to china by Admiral eunuch.
Portugeese sailors were competing with the chinese, but I think with their then titanic ships, they would have crushed the santa maria.
It's not easy to hit a continent.
The portugeese owned africa.
The world was divided into 2 places, the spanish and the portugeese halves.
Zheng He is the name of Admiral Eunuch.
Zheng He led about 3000 ships in his times.
Ambassadors exchanged gifts for the ability to trade with the chinese emperor.
The great wall was built because people stopped building giant ships.
Granada was where lots of european muslims were found.
Vasco Da Gama was searching for gold and christians.
Columbus has a deserved reputation for sea travel, but Zheng He and Vasco Da Gama was much better than him.
They didn't have general anestesia during the times when Zheng He and Vasco Da Gama were travelling. Just Imagine how much it hurt for Zheng He to get his nice, beautiful apples cut off.
Lots of maps were made, which gave portugeese sailors an advantage.
Portugeese sailors were pretty much pirates, attacking people and forcing the attacked to trade with them.
American Indians are called that because of columbus. I call them Native Americans because that's nicer.
In 1492, columbus discovered america. Or so they say..... I think the Natives there were the rightful founders.
In indian ocean trade, the chinese needed respect if they wanted to trade with any country.
If the chinese never stopped building giant ships, one of the most amazing wonders of the world would never have been created.
Zheng He was a muslim.
China was the leading manufacturer of quality goods in the world.
Zheng He was a medieval animal guy.
The Yongle Emperor died, stopping Zheng He from trading.
Columbus never thought he made it to america, he thought he crashed into indonesia.
Columbus created some christians.
Some.
Zheng He lost both his testicles, but that didn't stop him from becoming one of the best travellers in the world.
The chinese wanted to dominate trade, and for sure, Zheng He was one of the best captains.
Vasco De Gama was looking for a guy so that guy would help them in a crusade.
The portugeese had to rely on extortion to row their ships.
People say that columbus just hit some islands. I don't think so.
Zheng He, De Gama, and Columbus were 3 of the best, no not just best, BESTEST sailors of all time. ALL TIME.
Don't travel through the sea without fruit, or you shall contract scurvy!
Do you want quality goods? Go to china in the monsoon marketplace times.
The Kow Tow is when ambassadors or actual nobles offer the emperor of china gifts, in exchange for the ability to trade with them.
They built the great wall during the monsoon marketplace times, actually, a little after they stopped trading with giant ships. After that, the mongols got pretty mad, they didn't like a huge wall blocking their awesome, sacking, bloodily killing skills.
Krester John was meant to live in africa, and Vasco Da Gama was searching for him everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
Columbus never thought he made it to china.
Columbus was not a lucky lucky idiot.
The Native Americans just kept america when they found out it was available, like "Oh, this land is available? In that case, we'll keep it! It's all the same to you."
Zheng He was the first main figure for ocean travel in the 15th century.
You will need to awknowledge the superiority of the emperor if you want to trade with the rich rich RICH dude.
The portugeese captured a lot of cities, turning them into trading posts.
Without a kartise, you can't trade with the portugeese.
They used to figure out time with a hourglass, which meant it was pretty hard to find out how long you were doing something.
The greatest mariner of the 15th century is up to you, and what is your definition of greatest.
Treasure ships usually had about 7 masts, and there were about 400 of them in an armada.
All you people that criticize Columbus, just please, shut up. Just shut up. SHUT UP!
The chinese didn't dominate trade in the indian ocean after zheng he died.
In columbus' first journey, he found san salvador.
Back to Indian Ocean Trade!
Zheng He went from nice fun life to getting his balls cut off. Very sad. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
And that means he can't impregnate ANYTHING!
Treasure ships are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big. I mean, they're about the length of all my O's. If every O was a meter. That's how long it is. Peanut butteringly big.
Vasco De Gama is awesome! He was a pirate! He looted ships! And he forced captains to sign contracts so he can sell stuff to them! FORCED SELLING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Say goodbye to your money!
Portugal's motivations were to find gold and Christians. Which was almost impossible as most of Christianity was on the European side of Eurasia. Spain is also fun. They also look for gold and Christians.
Columbus landed in the EAST INDIES! Like Magellan. But Magellan made a lot of mistakes. I lied. Columbus thought he landed in the east indies.
The pope split the world into 2 places. SPAIN AND PORTUGAL!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
The Russians
The russian empire didn't last forever, and wasn't around since the beginning of time, But before that wasteland was proclaimed an empire, it was the home for some barbaric peoples.
The russians hated the mongols.
Napoleon and Hitler couldn't conquer russia for the same reason: Winter. Big bad winter.
Ivan 3 wanted to get the mongols out of russia, so they refused to pay the mongols tax.
Ivan the 4 was a terrible guy, hence the name, Ivan the terrible.
Vladmir Putin puts his enemies in jail... OH MY GOD SORRY PUTIN! DON'T PUT ME IN JAIL! I'M INNOCENT!
Russian wasn't byzantine, wasn't european, and wasn't mongol.
The mongols successfully captured russia, winter didn't stop them.
The mongols helped the russians by attacking the russian's enemies.
Bazel the cross-eyed was blinded.
The other Bazel was also blinded, but he was still a really, really, really great king.
Vladmir Putin is the current president of russia.
Vikings used to live in the place where the russians made their empire.
Russian Language is very hard to learn for me, which means that you russians are lucky.
The ruler of Kiev was called the Great Prince.
Russians were christians, and most of them were baptized.
Mongols weren't invincible, because the russians defeated them. REVENGE!
Bazel The Blind really expanded the russian empire.
Ivan The Terrible took the throne at the age of 16.
The russians used a lot of muskets.
After Ivan's wife died, everything went wacko.
Russians lived in Kiev.
Vladmir The First said that Drinking was the joy of the russians.
It probably was, since I see russians as people with nice bushy beards, drinking lots of ale. That seems awesome.
The mongols were a scourge sent from god to punish the russians, at least that was what they thought.
Ivan Kalita actually translates to Johnny Moneybags. LOL:P
Russian sounds more like slavic than swedish.
The mongols that conquered russia were called the golden horde.
The Muskivite princes were pretty much the leaders of russia.
Moscow is in european russia.
Moscow seemed like the hero of the russians when the people of moscow gave the mongols their first major defeat. The mongols would have said thanks, but they couldn't, because they were already dead.
Bazel blinded Bazel and then Bazel blinded Bazel back! Are you confused? Not really? Then keep reading friend.
Some of the russian emperors rigged their elections.
Ivan earned his nick The Terrible.
Ivan enjoyed killing animals when he was young.
By the way, that would be pretty fun if you were hunting.
People in black robes riding black horses were the secret police for the russians. They hunted down enemies of russia.
Putin is actually pretty awesome. He shoots tigers, Does karate, and rides jets. "It's lies all lies."
Kiev was not always thought to be founded by vikings.
Moscow is not always so cold.
Moscow is thought to be extremely cold, because winter in russia is horrible.
Sorry russians, but I don't know that feel, but I'm pretty sure how it feels.
Wear lots of fur coats russians! I love your language!
Lots of russian presidents rigged elections, even up to putin. OH GOD SORRY PUTIN! DON'T KILL ME I'M SO SORRY I'LL FIX THAT.
Lots of russian presidents rigged elections, until the wonderful brave Vladimir Putin put an end to it!
It's lies all lies.
Russians won World War 2, against the nazis, not because of the nazi's stupid decisions, but instead because of chance. Pure chance. Because winter was bad that day. That called for a winter-wrap up, but the ponies that were meant to do it were taking their day off. Looks like the animals are gonna be sleeping in.
Lol.
The settlers of Kiev were thought to be slavs, but there is an older theory that it was founded by vikings!
Slaves were traded by the Kievs.
The ruler of Kiev became the model for russian kings.
The russians became Byzantine Christians.
The Kiev fell when the Mongols attacked AND defeated them.
The mongols were very important to russia.
The mongols were allies with moscow.
The Muskavites were not greatful for the great things the mongols did for them, which was pretty weird.
Blinding people was common for the Bazels.
It's possible to rule russia like a boss even when you are blind, in Bazel The Blind's case.
I'm gonna blind you! Bazel said. Ow! I'm gonna blind you back! the other Bazel said.
The Slavs Traded slaves, and no, Slav isn't related to slaves.
Russia isn't always cold, but it is pictured as the coldest, snowiest, and iciest country in the world.
The russians hated the mongols.
Napoleon and Hitler couldn't conquer russia for the same reason: Winter. Big bad winter.
Ivan 3 wanted to get the mongols out of russia, so they refused to pay the mongols tax.
Ivan the 4 was a terrible guy, hence the name, Ivan the terrible.
Vladmir Putin puts his enemies in jail... OH MY GOD SORRY PUTIN! DON'T PUT ME IN JAIL! I'M INNOCENT!
Russian wasn't byzantine, wasn't european, and wasn't mongol.
The mongols successfully captured russia, winter didn't stop them.
The mongols helped the russians by attacking the russian's enemies.
Bazel the cross-eyed was blinded.
The other Bazel was also blinded, but he was still a really, really, really great king.
Vladmir Putin is the current president of russia.
Vikings used to live in the place where the russians made their empire.
Russian Language is very hard to learn for me, which means that you russians are lucky.
The ruler of Kiev was called the Great Prince.
Russians were christians, and most of them were baptized.
Mongols weren't invincible, because the russians defeated them. REVENGE!
Bazel The Blind really expanded the russian empire.
Ivan The Terrible took the throne at the age of 16.
The russians used a lot of muskets.
After Ivan's wife died, everything went wacko.
Russians lived in Kiev.
Vladmir The First said that Drinking was the joy of the russians.
It probably was, since I see russians as people with nice bushy beards, drinking lots of ale. That seems awesome.
The mongols were a scourge sent from god to punish the russians, at least that was what they thought.
Ivan Kalita actually translates to Johnny Moneybags. LOL:P
Russian sounds more like slavic than swedish.
The mongols that conquered russia were called the golden horde.
The Muskivite princes were pretty much the leaders of russia.
Moscow is in european russia.
Moscow seemed like the hero of the russians when the people of moscow gave the mongols their first major defeat. The mongols would have said thanks, but they couldn't, because they were already dead.
Bazel blinded Bazel and then Bazel blinded Bazel back! Are you confused? Not really? Then keep reading friend.
Some of the russian emperors rigged their elections.
Ivan earned his nick The Terrible.
Ivan enjoyed killing animals when he was young.
By the way, that would be pretty fun if you were hunting.
People in black robes riding black horses were the secret police for the russians. They hunted down enemies of russia.
Putin is actually pretty awesome. He shoots tigers, Does karate, and rides jets. "It's lies all lies."
Kiev was not always thought to be founded by vikings.
Moscow is not always so cold.
Moscow is thought to be extremely cold, because winter in russia is horrible.
Sorry russians, but I don't know that feel, but I'm pretty sure how it feels.
Wear lots of fur coats russians! I love your language!
Lots of russian presidents rigged elections, even up to putin. OH GOD SORRY PUTIN! DON'T KILL ME I'M SO SORRY I'LL FIX THAT.
Lots of russian presidents rigged elections, until the wonderful brave Vladimir Putin put an end to it!
It's lies all lies.
Russians won World War 2, against the nazis, not because of the nazi's stupid decisions, but instead because of chance. Pure chance. Because winter was bad that day. That called for a winter-wrap up, but the ponies that were meant to do it were taking their day off. Looks like the animals are gonna be sleeping in.
Lol.
The settlers of Kiev were thought to be slavs, but there is an older theory that it was founded by vikings!
Slaves were traded by the Kievs.
The ruler of Kiev became the model for russian kings.
The russians became Byzantine Christians.
The Kiev fell when the Mongols attacked AND defeated them.
The mongols were very important to russia.
The mongols were allies with moscow.
The Muskavites were not greatful for the great things the mongols did for them, which was pretty weird.
Blinding people was common for the Bazels.
It's possible to rule russia like a boss even when you are blind, in Bazel The Blind's case.
I'm gonna blind you! Bazel said. Ow! I'm gonna blind you back! the other Bazel said.
The Slavs Traded slaves, and no, Slav isn't related to slaves.
Russia isn't always cold, but it is pictured as the coldest, snowiest, and iciest country in the world.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Venice and the Ottomann empire. Ya I said Mann.
The Venicians were very good at trade, because all they had in their city was fish, so they had to rely on trade to get stuff.
The Piatza San Marco is made out of marble and is continuously pooped on by pigeons. By the way, I bet I spelled Piatza San Marco wrong.
The Ottomans had stuff that colored their glass, which was traded around a lot.
The Janissaries used to be christian boys, and the Jannisaries were not allowed to have kids. They also fought in wars.
Venice became super rich because of the ottomans.
There was a great trading relationship with venice and The Ottoman Empire.
The Venicians ferried a body of one of their saints to Italy again inside a barrel of pork. Muslims hate pork. That's why if you want to stay alive instead of getting killed by muslim crazies, hang pork around your house.
Ottomans were muslims.
Venice was a city but The ottomans had an empire, but they were still best friends.
Venice was pretty much some floating building tied together by canals.
Venicians were extremely good at making ships.
The venicians purposely built their city on the sea so they could trade mainly through the sea.
The ottomans conquered the byzantines, but the venicians didn't even give a crap. Am I allowed to say crap? Yes.
Ottomans had lots of unics, but unics are horrifying. They were usually used as slaves.
Venicians used to trade with the byzantines.
Venicians transported all of their saint bodies from egypt. Of course, in pork. Lots of pork.
The ottomans didn't like pork.
The ottomans didn't like saints either.
That's why they hid their saint bodies in pork.
Ottomans made lots of great buildings.
The Ottoman Empire was named after it's founder.
Ottomans had funny hats, like giant big hats.
The venicians made trade treaties with the byzantines, but when the ottomans conquered them they were quick to start trading with their new traders.
The whole freaking town of venice is made of marble.
Venicians imported a lot of grain through their trade route.
Venice is still known for their glass, but they got a special dye from the ottomans.
The Janissaries are an elite task force for the ottomans.
There were unics all around this great planet.
But the ottoman unics were the best.
Venice was literally built for ocean trade.
If venice wanted to grow, they had to rely on trade.
Venetians. Venicians are actually called Venitians. Crap. I will change from now.
Saint Mark was the saint of Alexandria.
The Ottomans had lots of grain.
Venice produced a lot of glass.
I once had a colored glass. I made it when me and my family went for a tour in a glass factory in japan when I was 10. They put some ashy stuff at the bottom of the glass that colored it a weird green. Now I know that that ash was from the ottomans.
1 Mutually beneficial relationship for the Venetians and the ottomans started a lot of great things. Including the renaissance and Christopher Columbus' Travels.
As the venetians said, "The matter of Constantinople getting the works, was nobody's business but the Turk's."
The Piatza San Marco's church contains Saint Mark's body.
Unics are spelled Eunuchs. Another wrong spelling found.
Ottomans had big brains, according to their gigantic hats.
Ottomans were muslims, along with the egyptians, which the venetians ferried their saint's corpse from.
The ottoman's land was much more valuable than the romans land, even though it was smaller, because of trade.
The janissaries, who had guns, were finally allowed to have families.
You know what the janissaries did. They had guns.
Venice was extremely close to the ottomans, which is why they traded a lot.
Venice traded a lot with their awesome ships, made by their super awesome ship making skills.
Venice was called Venetia.
Venetians helped the crusaders get to the place where they wanted to fight. As I said at one of my other videos.
Saint Mark was claimed by the Venetians, but it was rightfully the egyptian's.
The ottomans made great architecture which made them really great.
The ottomans bypassed the problem of hereditary nobles by starting the Dev Shur Me.
The Venetians were famous for their ships, which they used for major trading.
Memet the Conquerer and Sulamin the magnificent are the 2 people that are the awesome emperors of the ottoman empire.
Sulamin turned the ottomans into a great naval power.
The Ottomans had a lot of wealth.
Ottoman Eunuchs were very common in the Ottoman empire.
The Venetians also went to the Lavant.
The muslims don't check shipments of pork very carefully.
The ottomans were greatest between the 15th and 16th century.
There are bosnian mulsims today.
The Piatza San Marco is made out of marble and is continuously pooped on by pigeons. By the way, I bet I spelled Piatza San Marco wrong.
The Ottomans had stuff that colored their glass, which was traded around a lot.
The Janissaries used to be christian boys, and the Jannisaries were not allowed to have kids. They also fought in wars.
Venice became super rich because of the ottomans.
There was a great trading relationship with venice and The Ottoman Empire.
The Venicians ferried a body of one of their saints to Italy again inside a barrel of pork. Muslims hate pork. That's why if you want to stay alive instead of getting killed by muslim crazies, hang pork around your house.
Ottomans were muslims.
Venice was a city but The ottomans had an empire, but they were still best friends.
Venice was pretty much some floating building tied together by canals.
Venicians were extremely good at making ships.
The venicians purposely built their city on the sea so they could trade mainly through the sea.
The ottomans conquered the byzantines, but the venicians didn't even give a crap. Am I allowed to say crap? Yes.
Ottomans had lots of unics, but unics are horrifying. They were usually used as slaves.
Venicians used to trade with the byzantines.
Venicians transported all of their saint bodies from egypt. Of course, in pork. Lots of pork.
The ottomans didn't like pork.
The ottomans didn't like saints either.
That's why they hid their saint bodies in pork.
Ottomans made lots of great buildings.
The Ottoman Empire was named after it's founder.
Ottomans had funny hats, like giant big hats.
The venicians made trade treaties with the byzantines, but when the ottomans conquered them they were quick to start trading with their new traders.
The whole freaking town of venice is made of marble.
Venicians imported a lot of grain through their trade route.
Venice is still known for their glass, but they got a special dye from the ottomans.
The Janissaries are an elite task force for the ottomans.
There were unics all around this great planet.
But the ottoman unics were the best.
Venice was literally built for ocean trade.
If venice wanted to grow, they had to rely on trade.
Venetians. Venicians are actually called Venitians. Crap. I will change from now.
Saint Mark was the saint of Alexandria.
The Ottomans had lots of grain.
Venice produced a lot of glass.
I once had a colored glass. I made it when me and my family went for a tour in a glass factory in japan when I was 10. They put some ashy stuff at the bottom of the glass that colored it a weird green. Now I know that that ash was from the ottomans.
1 Mutually beneficial relationship for the Venetians and the ottomans started a lot of great things. Including the renaissance and Christopher Columbus' Travels.
As the venetians said, "The matter of Constantinople getting the works, was nobody's business but the Turk's."
The Piatza San Marco's church contains Saint Mark's body.
Unics are spelled Eunuchs. Another wrong spelling found.
Ottomans had big brains, according to their gigantic hats.
Ottomans were muslims, along with the egyptians, which the venetians ferried their saint's corpse from.
The ottoman's land was much more valuable than the romans land, even though it was smaller, because of trade.
The janissaries, who had guns, were finally allowed to have families.
You know what the janissaries did. They had guns.
Venice was extremely close to the ottomans, which is why they traded a lot.
Venice traded a lot with their awesome ships, made by their super awesome ship making skills.
Venice was called Venetia.
Venetians helped the crusaders get to the place where they wanted to fight. As I said at one of my other videos.
Saint Mark was claimed by the Venetians, but it was rightfully the egyptian's.
The ottomans made great architecture which made them really great.
The ottomans bypassed the problem of hereditary nobles by starting the Dev Shur Me.
The Venetians were famous for their ships, which they used for major trading.
Memet the Conquerer and Sulamin the magnificent are the 2 people that are the awesome emperors of the ottoman empire.
Sulamin turned the ottomans into a great naval power.
The Ottomans had a lot of wealth.
Ottoman Eunuchs were very common in the Ottoman empire.
The Venetians also went to the Lavant.
The muslims don't check shipments of pork very carefully.
The ottomans were greatest between the 15th and 16th century.
There are bosnian mulsims today.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Indian Ocean
Charles VI thought he was made out of glass.
Thanks to the mongols, trading was cheap and safe.
Indian ocean trade was very important because people imported lots of things that were only found at individual countries.
Indian Ocean trade was peaceful.
Merchants and Royals have lots of relations with each other.
Black Pepper was a great export from Sri Lanka.
The magnetic compass came from china.
Lots of city states exist because of trade.
Trade was a very good way to get stuff around the world in the old days.
People that wore funny hats were usually rulers.
The Monsoon Marketplace is another name for Indian Ocean Trade.
Muslim Merchants were the ones that usually had enough money to buy ships.
As I said before, Indian Ocean trade was peaceful, except for a few pirates.
Coffee to Books To Weapons were traded around through indian ocean trade.
The chinese also invented a lot of stuff that was traded through indian ocean trade.
Globes have serpents on them because there were mysterious dissapearances of ships in the sea that we now connect to typhoons.
Try shattering Charles VI. He thought he was made out of glass.
Indian Ocean trade was a very big trade route that went across the sea.
The silk road made less money than the monsoon marketplace, but silk road trade is more famous than the monsoon marketplace.
Everyone welcomes a merchant into their house, unless they are actually an army in disguise.
Technology spread through the monsoon marketplace.
The indian ocean was not only near india, but it spread across the whole southern part of asia and the eastern part of africa.
Cheaper trade meant more trade in the monsoon marketplace.
Kodo Rani (I bet that's the wrong spelling) offered her guts to her new husband as a wedding gift.
Islam spread to indonesia through the monsoon marketplace, when the elites of indonesia started adopting the religion.
Indian Ocean Trade really blew up between 1000 CE and 1200 CE.
Kodo Rani was forced to marry someone who kidnapped her, but then he died. After that, she got invaded and was forced to marry the main invader. After that, she sliced open her stomach and gave her guts to her husband as a wedding present. And all because her father let an army into his house, thinking they were merchants.
When the mongols were in charge, it was safer to go by land, because, if you pay a little tax, the mongols would protect you for the rest of your journey.
Singapore is an example of a trading place in modern times.
The Indian Ocean trade route was not only 1 route, there are lots of routes you can go through.
Monsoons were very important in the monsoon marketplace, because when you're trading, you can go home when the wind is leading to your hometown, and you can go to the country which you are planning to trade with when the wind is leading there.
Indian Ocean trade was like Silk Road trade.
There was a recognisable monsoon marketplace in about 700 CE.
The Indian Ocean trade was dominated by muslim merchants because they were very rich.
You wouldn't let an army or a rival noble into your house, but you would probably let a merchant in.
Islam spread to the centers of trade in the monsoon marketplace, therefore, the countries near vietnam never became muslim.
Predictable winds meant lower risk, which meant cheaper trade, which meant more people could have the things they wanted.
Some pretty valuable stuff was traded throughout the monsoon marketplace.
Silk and wood was traded across the monsoon marketplace.
Lots of exports were taken from asia in the monsoon marketplace.
Sri Vijia, I bet i'm saying it wrong, was a chokepoint for trade.
Trade was a huge wealth for trade chokepoints, because they could tax traders and merchants. Checkmate, suckers.
If we focus on the acts of the funny hatted people that rule us, we forget that we, the ordinary civilians, also create history.
It is extremely amazing that Indian Ocean Trade was almost completely peaceful.
Rice was an export from south eastern asia.
Lots of stuff that are in other countries now were traded through indian ocean trade.
If indian ocean trade was not so great, we would not have the stuff we have today.
Sri Vijya was near the strait of malaaka.
The Habsburg Dynasty was known for their disturbing family portraits. That was totally of topic like Charles VI thinking he was made out of glass, but that's trivia for you! Keeps this blog alive.
Sometimes, travel guides for the Indian Ocean showed which time to go for the week or even the day. That means cheaper stuff. Stuff is still traveling around the world to new countries every day!
Thanks to the mongols, trading was cheap and safe.
Indian ocean trade was very important because people imported lots of things that were only found at individual countries.
Indian Ocean trade was peaceful.
Merchants and Royals have lots of relations with each other.
Black Pepper was a great export from Sri Lanka.
The magnetic compass came from china.
Lots of city states exist because of trade.
Trade was a very good way to get stuff around the world in the old days.
People that wore funny hats were usually rulers.
The Monsoon Marketplace is another name for Indian Ocean Trade.
Muslim Merchants were the ones that usually had enough money to buy ships.
As I said before, Indian Ocean trade was peaceful, except for a few pirates.
Coffee to Books To Weapons were traded around through indian ocean trade.
The chinese also invented a lot of stuff that was traded through indian ocean trade.
Globes have serpents on them because there were mysterious dissapearances of ships in the sea that we now connect to typhoons.
Try shattering Charles VI. He thought he was made out of glass.
Indian Ocean trade was a very big trade route that went across the sea.
The silk road made less money than the monsoon marketplace, but silk road trade is more famous than the monsoon marketplace.
Everyone welcomes a merchant into their house, unless they are actually an army in disguise.
Technology spread through the monsoon marketplace.
The indian ocean was not only near india, but it spread across the whole southern part of asia and the eastern part of africa.
Cheaper trade meant more trade in the monsoon marketplace.
Kodo Rani (I bet that's the wrong spelling) offered her guts to her new husband as a wedding gift.
Islam spread to indonesia through the monsoon marketplace, when the elites of indonesia started adopting the religion.
Indian Ocean Trade really blew up between 1000 CE and 1200 CE.
Kodo Rani was forced to marry someone who kidnapped her, but then he died. After that, she got invaded and was forced to marry the main invader. After that, she sliced open her stomach and gave her guts to her husband as a wedding present. And all because her father let an army into his house, thinking they were merchants.
When the mongols were in charge, it was safer to go by land, because, if you pay a little tax, the mongols would protect you for the rest of your journey.
Singapore is an example of a trading place in modern times.
The Indian Ocean trade route was not only 1 route, there are lots of routes you can go through.
Monsoons were very important in the monsoon marketplace, because when you're trading, you can go home when the wind is leading to your hometown, and you can go to the country which you are planning to trade with when the wind is leading there.
Indian Ocean trade was like Silk Road trade.
There was a recognisable monsoon marketplace in about 700 CE.
The Indian Ocean trade was dominated by muslim merchants because they were very rich.
You wouldn't let an army or a rival noble into your house, but you would probably let a merchant in.
Islam spread to the centers of trade in the monsoon marketplace, therefore, the countries near vietnam never became muslim.
Predictable winds meant lower risk, which meant cheaper trade, which meant more people could have the things they wanted.
Some pretty valuable stuff was traded throughout the monsoon marketplace.
Silk and wood was traded across the monsoon marketplace.
Lots of exports were taken from asia in the monsoon marketplace.
Sri Vijia, I bet i'm saying it wrong, was a chokepoint for trade.
Trade was a huge wealth for trade chokepoints, because they could tax traders and merchants. Checkmate, suckers.
If we focus on the acts of the funny hatted people that rule us, we forget that we, the ordinary civilians, also create history.
It is extremely amazing that Indian Ocean Trade was almost completely peaceful.
Rice was an export from south eastern asia.
Lots of stuff that are in other countries now were traded through indian ocean trade.
If indian ocean trade was not so great, we would not have the stuff we have today.
Sri Vijya was near the strait of malaaka.
The Habsburg Dynasty was known for their disturbing family portraits. That was totally of topic like Charles VI thinking he was made out of glass, but that's trivia for you! Keeps this blog alive.
Sometimes, travel guides for the Indian Ocean showed which time to go for the week or even the day. That means cheaper stuff. Stuff is still traveling around the world to new countries every day!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
HAHA THE MONGOLS HAHAHA
The Mongols were herders.
The mongols were also nomads.
Mongols massacred lots of living things, Including men, women, children, pets, cows, sheep, goats, etc.
Genghis Khan's father was poisoned to death.
Genghis Khan killed his brother in an argument.
The mongols took the peasants of countries into their tribe, and that is why peasants loved the mongols so much.
Genghis Khan died in his sleep.
On another hand, the rich hated the mongols more than anything.
Genghis khan has lots of descendants, so many that every day is one of Genghis Khan's descendant's birthday.
Genghis Khan has lots of descendants, including Kublai Khan and Salman Khan.(Wait.... What?) No, not the film actor. The Educator. If you don't know about the smartest person in the world, you better learn about him now. This isn't related to the mongols in any way so I should talk about mongols now.
Genghis khan is not a very good guy, as he killed men and raped their wives and children.
One of the candidates for catapult projectiles for the mongols: Dead bodies infected by the plague.
Mongols were not exactly barbarians, they were actually pretty civilized.
Timogen, or Genghis Khan's wife was kidnapped, and so was his mother.
Mongols were great Cavalry Archers.
The mongols were going to attack japan, but they got killed by the legendary Tsunami.
Mongols, of course, were from Mongolia.
Genghis khan's way of happiness is to vanquish his enemies, to chase them before him, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to his bosom their wives and daughters.
The Mongols were brutal conquerers, their killings worse than the My Lai Massacre.
The Mongols spread the plague.
Timogen was the second youngest brother of his family, but he massacred all of his older bros.
The mongol empire spread to the caspian sea.
The mongol kings were called great khans.
Not all khans are descendants of genghis khan, but genghis khan's family lives on and on and on and on and on and on.............
We imagine the mongols as stereotypically barbaric, which is not entirely wrong.
Mongols created countries like Russia and even Korea.
The mongols conquered more land in 25 years than the romans did in 400.
Mongols don't go on random trips, they go to where the climate is best.
Mongol women rarely went to war.
Mongols were really good at archery.
Genghis Khan was the person that led the mongols through their conquest to conquer the world.
Most of genghis khan's descendants became khans, well, actually, only 1 of the maybe 1000 sons of Timogen.
The Mongols had lots of enemies, and they were so devastating that china had to build a giant wall that was 8851.8 kilometres long.
Genghis Khan's army contained about 130,000 men.
Mongols were very welcoming to different religions.
If cities surrendered when the mongols came, the mongols would not kill, gut, decapitate, repeatedly stab and rape the city's citizens.
Nomads don't generally produce manufactured goods.
Mongols just hanged out at the foothills just hunted and secretly became really good at arching before they started conquering everything
Genghis Khan won a civil war to become the king he was.
Genghis Khan won the loyalty of lots of people before becoming the Great Khan.
The Mongols conquered a lot of desert, but they also conquered a lot of people too.
Kublai Khan conquered the sung dynasty in china at 1279.
The mongols also conquered The Byzantine Empire.
Right now, on the earth, there are 16,000,000 descendants of Genghis Khan living in the world, which means today is the birthday for about 43,000 of them.
People were terrified of the mongols.
Mongols didn't have flying horses.
The Mongols had speed and efficiency in their conquerings.
The mongol conquering montage started when someone stole Timogen's wife.
Timogen was born to a lowly clan.
The mongols were similar to the huns and barbarians like that. Heard of hungary?
That's where the huns came from. The Zhong Nu were also barbarians that were similar to the mongols. I don't know much about them.
In 1206, Genghis Khan was named the great khan, the leader of all the mongols.
The Yuan, you heard about them if you completely read my china post, were mongols of course, and were one of the main parts of their empire.
The mongols were experts at siege warfare.
The Mongols increased communication with the eurasian societies.
Rice became part of the persian diet because of the mongols.
The mongols were not uniquely brutal, but they were BRUTAL.
The americans at the My Lai Massacre were a lot less worse than the mongols.
Mongols killed children and babies? Children and Babies.
Mongols had gunpowder and ships! And you thought they were barbarians. Oh you. The End.
The mongols were also nomads.
Mongols massacred lots of living things, Including men, women, children, pets, cows, sheep, goats, etc.
Genghis Khan's father was poisoned to death.
Genghis Khan killed his brother in an argument.
The mongols took the peasants of countries into their tribe, and that is why peasants loved the mongols so much.
Genghis Khan died in his sleep.
On another hand, the rich hated the mongols more than anything.
Genghis khan has lots of descendants, so many that every day is one of Genghis Khan's descendant's birthday.
Genghis Khan has lots of descendants, including Kublai Khan and Salman Khan.(Wait.... What?) No, not the film actor. The Educator. If you don't know about the smartest person in the world, you better learn about him now. This isn't related to the mongols in any way so I should talk about mongols now.
Genghis khan is not a very good guy, as he killed men and raped their wives and children.
One of the candidates for catapult projectiles for the mongols: Dead bodies infected by the plague.
Mongols were not exactly barbarians, they were actually pretty civilized.
Timogen, or Genghis Khan's wife was kidnapped, and so was his mother.
Mongols were great Cavalry Archers.
The mongols were going to attack japan, but they got killed by the legendary Tsunami.
Mongols, of course, were from Mongolia.
Genghis khan's way of happiness is to vanquish his enemies, to chase them before him, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to his bosom their wives and daughters.
The Mongols were brutal conquerers, their killings worse than the My Lai Massacre.
The Mongols spread the plague.
Timogen was the second youngest brother of his family, but he massacred all of his older bros.
The mongol empire spread to the caspian sea.
The mongol kings were called great khans.
Not all khans are descendants of genghis khan, but genghis khan's family lives on and on and on and on and on and on.............
We imagine the mongols as stereotypically barbaric, which is not entirely wrong.
Mongols created countries like Russia and even Korea.
The mongols conquered more land in 25 years than the romans did in 400.
Mongols don't go on random trips, they go to where the climate is best.
Mongol women rarely went to war.
Mongols were really good at archery.
Genghis Khan was the person that led the mongols through their conquest to conquer the world.
Most of genghis khan's descendants became khans, well, actually, only 1 of the maybe 1000 sons of Timogen.
The Mongols had lots of enemies, and they were so devastating that china had to build a giant wall that was 8851.8 kilometres long.
Genghis Khan's army contained about 130,000 men.
Mongols were very welcoming to different religions.
If cities surrendered when the mongols came, the mongols would not kill, gut, decapitate, repeatedly stab and rape the city's citizens.
Nomads don't generally produce manufactured goods.
Mongols just hanged out at the foothills just hunted and secretly became really good at arching before they started conquering everything
Genghis Khan won a civil war to become the king he was.
Genghis Khan won the loyalty of lots of people before becoming the Great Khan.
The Mongols conquered a lot of desert, but they also conquered a lot of people too.
Kublai Khan conquered the sung dynasty in china at 1279.
The mongols also conquered The Byzantine Empire.
Right now, on the earth, there are 16,000,000 descendants of Genghis Khan living in the world, which means today is the birthday for about 43,000 of them.
People were terrified of the mongols.
Mongols didn't have flying horses.
The Mongols had speed and efficiency in their conquerings.
The mongol conquering montage started when someone stole Timogen's wife.
Timogen was born to a lowly clan.
The mongols were similar to the huns and barbarians like that. Heard of hungary?
That's where the huns came from. The Zhong Nu were also barbarians that were similar to the mongols. I don't know much about them.
In 1206, Genghis Khan was named the great khan, the leader of all the mongols.
The Yuan, you heard about them if you completely read my china post, were mongols of course, and were one of the main parts of their empire.
The mongols were experts at siege warfare.
The Mongols increased communication with the eurasian societies.
Rice became part of the persian diet because of the mongols.
The mongols were not uniquely brutal, but they were BRUTAL.
The americans at the My Lai Massacre were a lot less worse than the mongols.
Mongols killed children and babies? Children and Babies.
Mongols had gunpowder and ships! And you thought they were barbarians. Oh you. The End.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Mansa Musa And Some Other Stuff
We don't have many written records of Saharan Africa.
Mansa Musa was the legendary king of western africa.
Mansa Musa also gave lots of his fortune to ordinary people.
Mansa Musa's story made europeans think that western africa was a land of gold.
Mansa Musa was muslim.
Timbuktu was turned to Islam.
Islam was the religion of the elites in africa.
Mansa Musa's successor was Mansa Sulamin. I wonder if that's how to spell Sulamin.
Islam was adopted in Ghana.
Ivin Batuta (Is this how it spelled?) had a wonderful life, travelling everywhere, and he was treated like a king wherever he travelled.
Swahili Civilization was a bunch of city states.
Swahili Civilization brought iron work and agriculture.
Swahili is a Bantu based language.
The Elites of Africa wanted religious and commercial connection to the Mediterranean World.
Old houses in africa had bookshelves in them.
Mansa Musa's history may be a legend.
Islam in africa was mainly in sub-saharan africa.
It is not true that people that can't write are not civilized.
Plato said that books ruined memory because you would not need to remember anything, which, of course, was not true.
Mansa Musa built houses in Cairo and Mecca.
Some africans still worshipped their ordinary gods, while some others worshipped Allah and the islam religion.
All the major swahili cities were found before islam hit africa.
Later, the swahili cities had mosques in them.
Egypt is an example of islam in africa.
Mansa Musa knew where he was going before he actually went there.
Ibin Batuta was interested in gender roles in the Malian empire.
The Mongols never hit agriculture lol.
We need to look at lots of sources other than written sources if we want to learn about the history of africa, because we don't have many written records, as I said earlier.
Timbuktu is in Sub Saharan africa, and it is now a ruin that can be found.
Mansa Musa took about 1000 people with him on his journey to give everyone his gold.
The Burburs were early converts to islam in africa.
Swahili civilization was in the eastern part of africa.
One of the swahili civilizations was called mombasa. Sounds familiar. If you live in kenya it is. By the way, mombasa makes a great cameo in halo, when it is attacked by covenant and finally conquered by the flood. What i'm talking about is actually ancient mombasa so i'm off topic here. Stupid me.
People thought that oral tradition was uncivilised.
Sometimes, Mansa Musa made runaway inflation occur.
Lots of salt was traded across africa.
Salt was and still is very important. A lot of salt was a fortune in the old days.
In fact, in my mother's side of my family (The Japanese side) , there was lots of salt trade.
Mansa Musa gave away his gold during his pilgrimage to mecca.
The Merchants of venice spread the stories that Mansa Musa had lots of gold.
Mansa Musa ruled his cities until, wait for it, the year 1337 AD.
The people in Mansa Musa's territory gave women more equality.
Ibin Batuta wrote an amazing book that we still read today.
Modern swahili language is based on arabic.
Ivory, Animal Hides and Timber was traded around africa.
You can fit India, China and The United States "If you fold in maine" in africa.
The Odyssey was memorized by poets for about 100 years before it was even written down.
In alexandria, there was runaway inflation because of Mansa Musa, which, I think, is the only bad thing that he did.
Mansa Musa's journey was a long one because he had to go all the way from sub saharan africa to mecca, which was in arabia.
You can visit Timbuktu today.
Timbuktu looks like a huge city with huge logs sticking out of the buildings like tiny stubs.
Some sources say that Mansa Musa took over 60000 people with him during his pilgrimage to Mecca.
El Dorado was thought to be a country of gold.
Even african empires had kings, like other empires.
Ancient Africans were not only tribes with their leaders being chiefs and witch doctors, a lot of other Ancient Africans had empires, with huge clay buildings and almighty kings.
Mansa Musa's successor, Mansa Sulamin tried to spread the Islam religion across his empire.
Ibin Batuta went from Mali to Constantinople to India to Russia to Indonesia to....
In fact, Mansa Musa was probably the most travelled person in the world until the steam engine was invented.
Swahili city states were usually, but not always ruled by a king.
If you go to the south of the saharan desert, you should find Sub-Saharan Africa.
Mansa Musa was the legendary king of western africa.
Mansa Musa also gave lots of his fortune to ordinary people.
Mansa Musa's story made europeans think that western africa was a land of gold.
Mansa Musa was muslim.
Timbuktu was turned to Islam.
Islam was the religion of the elites in africa.
Mansa Musa's successor was Mansa Sulamin. I wonder if that's how to spell Sulamin.
Islam was adopted in Ghana.
Ivin Batuta (Is this how it spelled?) had a wonderful life, travelling everywhere, and he was treated like a king wherever he travelled.
Swahili Civilization was a bunch of city states.
Swahili Civilization brought iron work and agriculture.
Swahili is a Bantu based language.
The Elites of Africa wanted religious and commercial connection to the Mediterranean World.
Old houses in africa had bookshelves in them.
Mansa Musa's history may be a legend.
Islam in africa was mainly in sub-saharan africa.
It is not true that people that can't write are not civilized.
Plato said that books ruined memory because you would not need to remember anything, which, of course, was not true.
Mansa Musa built houses in Cairo and Mecca.
Some africans still worshipped their ordinary gods, while some others worshipped Allah and the islam religion.
All the major swahili cities were found before islam hit africa.
Later, the swahili cities had mosques in them.
Egypt is an example of islam in africa.
Mansa Musa knew where he was going before he actually went there.
Ibin Batuta was interested in gender roles in the Malian empire.
The Mongols never hit agriculture lol.
We need to look at lots of sources other than written sources if we want to learn about the history of africa, because we don't have many written records, as I said earlier.
Timbuktu is in Sub Saharan africa, and it is now a ruin that can be found.
Mansa Musa took about 1000 people with him on his journey to give everyone his gold.
The Burburs were early converts to islam in africa.
Swahili civilization was in the eastern part of africa.
One of the swahili civilizations was called mombasa. Sounds familiar. If you live in kenya it is. By the way, mombasa makes a great cameo in halo, when it is attacked by covenant and finally conquered by the flood. What i'm talking about is actually ancient mombasa so i'm off topic here. Stupid me.
People thought that oral tradition was uncivilised.
Sometimes, Mansa Musa made runaway inflation occur.
Lots of salt was traded across africa.
Salt was and still is very important. A lot of salt was a fortune in the old days.
In fact, in my mother's side of my family (The Japanese side) , there was lots of salt trade.
Mansa Musa gave away his gold during his pilgrimage to mecca.
The Merchants of venice spread the stories that Mansa Musa had lots of gold.
Mansa Musa ruled his cities until, wait for it, the year 1337 AD.
The people in Mansa Musa's territory gave women more equality.
Ibin Batuta wrote an amazing book that we still read today.
Modern swahili language is based on arabic.
Ivory, Animal Hides and Timber was traded around africa.
You can fit India, China and The United States "If you fold in maine" in africa.
The Odyssey was memorized by poets for about 100 years before it was even written down.
In alexandria, there was runaway inflation because of Mansa Musa, which, I think, is the only bad thing that he did.
Mansa Musa's journey was a long one because he had to go all the way from sub saharan africa to mecca, which was in arabia.
You can visit Timbuktu today.
Timbuktu looks like a huge city with huge logs sticking out of the buildings like tiny stubs.
Some sources say that Mansa Musa took over 60000 people with him during his pilgrimage to Mecca.
El Dorado was thought to be a country of gold.
Even african empires had kings, like other empires.
Ancient Africans were not only tribes with their leaders being chiefs and witch doctors, a lot of other Ancient Africans had empires, with huge clay buildings and almighty kings.
Mansa Musa's successor, Mansa Sulamin tried to spread the Islam religion across his empire.
Ibin Batuta went from Mali to Constantinople to India to Russia to Indonesia to....
In fact, Mansa Musa was probably the most travelled person in the world until the steam engine was invented.
Swahili city states were usually, but not always ruled by a king.
If you go to the south of the saharan desert, you should find Sub-Saharan Africa.
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