Fancy Imperialism, Like A Sir.

Chinese had plans for Monkey Fireworks! But they were never used, which saved a lot of monkey's lives.

Imperialism is great. Have you heard about the Imperial Army? Exactly.

The Maxim Machine Gun! It's amazing! It shoots stuff!

European Imperialism was weird, as they tried to conquer Africa. And a lot of Africans died.

Europeans tried to expand their empire by capturing Asia and Africa.

Europeans love empires. They also love to sell their best drug. It's weird, and it makes you feel weird. The Chinese love it! You've probably heard about it, Opium.

SCP, SCP, SCP, 173!

Derp.

Fezzes are used by Arabs. Fezzes were made because of Arabs. So thank the Arabs, as fezzes are cool now.

Empires have gone away? Why? Now we have countries! I don't want countries I want empires WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Countries are cool tho, I like countries too much to say I don't. Sorry country lovers!

China was a thriving manufacturing power. Haha!

The Qianlong Emperor is really weird. He says we won't buy anything from you European Scum! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But then the Europeans found a good way to trade. It all came in with a product. That product is called opium. It is one of the most addictive drugs in the world. And you know where it came from? An innocent flower that just didn't want to be turned into a drug! The Opium Poppy. It was the poppy where that very drug came from! And that's why opium is called opium. Or is that why the opium poppy called the opium poppy? I can't decide, turn on the chocobo music while I think about it.

Doo-do-do-do do-do-de do-do-do. Da da-da-da-dadada. Da da-da-da-dadada!
Doo-do-do-do do-do-de do-do-do. Da da-da-da-dadada. Da da-da-da-dadada!

OK, even after that, I'm still not sure. Turn on the REAL chocobo music while I think about it.

Imperialism introduced a lot of trade. I mean a LOT.

Imperialism affected china a lot.

Why are we barbarians to the Chinese? We are pretty good! We give you guys a lot of awesome stuff. We gave you Iphones!

Monkey Fireworks! Launch! Wait, those weren't invented? Damn it!

Chinese invented one thing! Robotic pandas with fireworks strapped to their backs! They were the mortar troops of the Chinese army! I saw them! In an alternate dimension. They were called Tillman.

MACHINE GUNS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SHOOT THOSE GUYS UP! We used machine guns against lots of people without those machine guns. Well, maybe they have a few, but we shoot them up anyway because we. are. awesome!

Indian Princes were imperial! They ride their elephants and squish all in their way! GO ELEPHANT SQUISH THOSE REDCOATS F**KAS! AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Imperialism gave us all the stuff shown above. Yes, even the robotic pandas.

China was about to be overtaken by Europe! But they decided to trade anyway! HAHA! And then they gave a lot of opium. A LOT OF OPIUM! And then the Chinese Citizens got addicted! The Brits could sell it a lot! And then the celestial empire, led by none other than Celestia (WAIT WAIT WHAT) decided to send them a stern letter saying "DRUGS ARE BAD! WE SHALL REMOVE OUR TRADES OF FRIENDSHIP TO YOUR EMPIRES!" but the Europeans didn't care much. So the celestial empire didn't send the letter. And the friendship trades kept on going. And then high Princess Celestia ordered all of the opium to be dumped into the sea, tea party style! But then the Europeans demanded payback! But the celestial empire thought that was too harsh. So the Europeans forced them to give them money! And that's how she was dethroned and needed to act in a little girls show for money! Next Question!