Sunday, May 27, 2012

HAHA THE MONGOLS HAHAHA

The Mongols were herders.

The mongols were also nomads.

Mongols massacred lots of living things, Including men, women, children, pets, cows, sheep, goats, etc.

Genghis Khan's father was poisoned to death.

Genghis Khan killed his brother in an argument.

The mongols took the peasants of countries into their tribe, and that is why peasants loved the mongols so much.

Genghis Khan died in his sleep.

On another hand, the rich hated the mongols more than anything.

Genghis khan has lots of descendants, so many that every day is one of Genghis Khan's descendant's birthday.

Genghis Khan has lots of descendants, including Kublai Khan and Salman Khan.(Wait.... What?) No, not the film actor. The Educator. If you don't know about the smartest person in the world, you better learn about him now. This isn't related to the mongols in any way so I should talk about mongols now.

Genghis khan is not a very good guy, as he killed men and raped their wives and children.

One of the candidates for catapult projectiles for the mongols: Dead bodies infected by the plague.

Mongols were not exactly barbarians, they were actually pretty civilized.

Timogen, or Genghis Khan's wife was kidnapped, and so was his mother.

Mongols were great Cavalry Archers.

The mongols were going to attack japan, but they got killed by the legendary Tsunami.

Mongols, of course, were from Mongolia.

Genghis khan's way of happiness is to vanquish his enemies, to chase them before him, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to his bosom their wives and daughters.

The Mongols were brutal conquerers, their killings worse than the My Lai Massacre.

The Mongols spread the plague.

Timogen was the second youngest brother of his family, but he massacred all of his older bros.

The mongol empire spread to the caspian sea.

The mongol kings were called great khans.

Not all khans are descendants of genghis khan, but genghis khan's family lives on and on and on and on and on and on.............

We imagine the mongols as stereotypically barbaric, which is not entirely wrong.

Mongols created countries like Russia and even Korea.

The mongols conquered more land in 25 years than the romans did in 400.

Mongols don't go on random trips, they go to where the climate is best.

Mongol women rarely went to war.

Mongols were really good at archery.

Genghis Khan was the person that led the mongols through their conquest to conquer the world.

Most of genghis khan's descendants became khans, well, actually, only 1 of the maybe 1000 sons of Timogen.

The Mongols had lots of enemies, and they were so devastating that china had to build a giant wall that was 8851.8 kilometres long.

Genghis Khan's army contained about 130,000 men.

Mongols were very welcoming to different religions.

If cities surrendered when the mongols came, the mongols would not kill, gut, decapitate, repeatedly stab and rape the city's citizens.

Nomads don't generally produce manufactured goods.

Mongols just hanged out at the foothills just hunted and secretly became really good at arching before they started conquering everything

Genghis Khan won a civil war to become the king he was.

Genghis Khan won the loyalty of lots of people before becoming the Great Khan.

The Mongols conquered a lot of desert, but they also conquered a lot of people too.

Kublai Khan conquered the sung dynasty in china at 1279.

The mongols also conquered The Byzantine Empire.

Right now, on the earth, there are 16,000,000 descendants of Genghis Khan living in the world, which means today is the birthday for about 43,000 of them.

People were terrified of the mongols.

Mongols didn't have flying horses.

The Mongols had speed and efficiency in their conquerings.

The mongol conquering montage started when someone stole Timogen's wife.

Timogen was born to a lowly clan.

The mongols were similar to the huns and barbarians like that. Heard of hungary?
That's where the huns came from. The Zhong Nu were also barbarians that were similar to the mongols. I don't know much about them.

In 1206, Genghis Khan was named the great khan, the leader of all the mongols.

The Yuan, you heard about them if you completely read my china post, were mongols of course, and were one of the main parts of their empire.

The mongols were experts at siege warfare.

The Mongols increased communication with the eurasian societies.

Rice became part of the persian diet because of the mongols.

The mongols were not uniquely brutal, but they were BRUTAL.

The americans at the My Lai Massacre were a lot less worse than the mongols.

Mongols killed children and babies? Children and Babies.

Mongols had gunpowder and ships! And you thought they were barbarians. Oh you. The End.






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